I'm more messed up than I lead on to be
My friends and family only know bits and pieces of what's wrong with me but it's way more than that. I am a fourteen year old girl. I lost my virginity to my friend's boyfriend while they were dating and I could care less, and she still doesn't know, it was two days before my fourteenth birthday, and I didn't and still don't have feelings for him. Two days later I had s** with a girl and was happy when it made him mad. I had a boyfriend when I started to cut and smoke and drink and get into wanting to have s**, we were together when I was still a virgin. He encouraged me to do bad things, like keep cutting, and smoke, and send him nude pics. We broke up because we were being threatened to get arrested for the nude pics. I found out my friend was bi so we took advantage of it. The very first day we hooked up, I went to her house while her parents were out, and we made out and got a bit freaky. That was yesterday and we broke up today. Today my ex asked for me back since his mom broke up with the guy who wanted to press charges for our nude pics. I know it was bad for me to be with him but I'm going back. So to cover all my mental basis I am severely depressed, tried suicide 3 times, cut, drink, smoke, and am not a virgin. I call that pretty f***ing messed up.