What kind of marriage
I love my husband, and I don't want to leave him, but at the same time, I know something has to change. He has me so confused that I feel like I'm the bad guy. When I'm upset because he has, yet again, failed me in some way, big (like not paying the bills and lying about it) or small (like telling me he'll pick up my prescription then not doing it), he yells at me, while I sit there and take it. He tells me how much it hurts him and how badly I treat him, standing there and screaming at me.
I don't nag. I don't ask him to do much. He doesn't get his clothes in the basket, and I don't gripe about it. He acts so put upon when I ask him to do one simple thing. It's like I've asked him to cut off an arm or something if I ask him to do something. When he complains too much, or "forgets" to do it, I just get up and do it myself. Then, he screams at me for hours, telling me that my taking out the trash makes him feel like s***. WTF? Maybe I really am the bad guy, because I don't understand it.
He screams at me if I do the dishes. He screams at me if I clean the living room. He won't clean anything until it's a health hazard, but he yells at me when I do it. He tells me that he just wants me to be able to do whatever I want. I want to take part in our household.
If I want a clean home, I need to clean when he's at work, so he doesn't stop me and scream at me about how I'm making him feel like a piece of crap and that I have no right to make him feel that way.
I don't understand what's going on in his head at all.
My confession is that I won't leave him, because I love him, but I'm afraid that if this doesn't stop, I'm going to kill myself. So, yes. This is all my fault for not leaving.