I'm so in love with him, but he doesn't love me back and he never will

I confess that I'm so unhappy right now. I feel like I've lost my mind. I'm stupidly in love with my "friend", who was never really my friend because our relationship started with us having s**. After which he told me he wasn't interested in dating me. At first he gave me lame excuses as to why it couldn't work...u know, the usual reasons. But he later admitted to me that it's because I'm black/dark skinned. That was seven months ago, and I'm still hung up on him. I've attempted to cut him out of my life several times, and I failed every time. I kept having s** even knowing that it meant more to me than it did to him, even when I suspected that he might be bisexual. The last time I attempted to cut him out of my life it was because after he agreed to give being bf/gf a try, he later told me that the only reason he'd agreed to it was because I'd told him I couldnt be friends with him anymore and he felt sorry for me because he knows I have no one else to talk to. I've never cried as much as I cried that night. But still, I allowed him back. Up until last night when I told him I was done for good. I don't know why I expected him to care that he was never going to hear from or speak to me again, but obviously he didn't. I was crying, my heart was breaking. but he was calm and cold, sometimes even laughing. He broke my heart worse than anyone ever has, but he doesn't get it. Nor does he care. I know the only reason he was able to get to me as much as he did is because I have no self-worth, and that's something I'm going to work on from now on. I know I should have walked away when I had the chance...I wouldn't be going thru this right now. My mistake.

Sep 28, 2010

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  • damm thats some confession. I have to say i am facing a similar situation except this guy does not want to leave me alone. at first we were in a relationship than it became very intense f****** all the time and then I SUPECTED he had some other hidden agendas on how he made his money. I found out he was a p*** and i BROKE UP WITH HIM his mistake because he gave me his passwords to his emails. but f***** up when he sent me pic to my phone after i broke up his ego got bruised and he bragged bout having s** with this girl i had the pics of him in the act on my cell ! crazy now he is sorry and wants me back I dont know why I allow him back in my life after all the shyt he put me through and now he trying to do all the romantic stuff and say all the right things I GUESS HE SAW THAT I WAS THE ONLY GIRL THATS EVER PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE AND DIDNT TAKE THAT SHYT. PLUS I CHANGED MY NUMBER AND ON MY B-DAY he finds me on facebook to tell me happy b-day and then he asks me to call him I'm stupid and called but I dont know I have a secret feelings for him and he likes me alot but I play the tough b**** role cuz thats me cold, but I still like him he coming friday and I kinda miss him may not so similar to yours situation but i dont know my confession lol

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