I have vivd fantasies about a friend of mine...

So, I find myself attracted to a female friend of mine whom I know very well. I know she most likely isn't interested in me in this way; but that aside, I still find her so lustrous, so gorgeous. I had a very graphic sexual fantasy about her earlier today . You see, I used to be a chronic masturbator and well, I used to try this thing were I fantasized about people I knew without actually touching myself physically too much except to maintain my erection, and I would sit still lying down on my bed for a few hours and fantasize what it'd feel like to have a whole host of devious sexual deeds performed on me by the girls I lusted after. Best o***** I'd ever had. The one I had this morning was basically her, her sister, and her sister's friend all performing various sexual acts on me in several positions. I'd go into detail but I don't think it;s quite necessary for you to get the idea ;] And so, it just felt soo amazing to try this again. I hadn't had such an incredible o***** in long time. I've never acted on any of these impulses though, I have very good self restraint. I feel terrible about it though, you know? She sees me as a very close friend, and I see her as the same, but I cant help but find her soo very desirable, does it make me a horrible person to want to do so many sexual things to one of my best friends?

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