To Wed... Or to Live

Almost exactly a year ago now, I was in a loving relationship and engaged to be married. The love of my life was in the army, however, and scheduled to be shipped to Afghanistan. He got scared, and ended things between us. I was heartbroken.

Since then, I've made a good life for myself. I have my own place, I've been going to college, and have plans to participate in a Service Learning program through my school in the UK, which would have me living there for six months to a year.

However, my ex "Max" is back, and he wants me back. He begged my forgiveness, explaining his reasons, none of which really matter, because in the end, he broke my heart.

He wants me to be engaged to him again, and more specifically, to marry him, as soon as humanly possible. He's asking me to give up the life I have to tag along after him wherever he ends up. Logically, everything in my head is telling me to tell him no. But, I still love him. I just can't seem to help it. I want to go back with him, I want to marry him and be with him forever. But I'm scared he'll hurt me again. (The last time was not the first time it happened.) If I throw away everything I have, I can't get it back, but if I turn down this opportunity, it will never come again. Either way, I lose something potentially wonderful. I have no idea what to do.

Someone, please. Help?

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  • Why is he rushing for you guys to get married? I think you need to put you and your needs ahead of his. You must continue your studies. If he loves you, he will support you in you getting an education and for you to pursue your dreams too. Maybe you really need to have a long talk with him to find out what your future goals are as both individuals and as a couple. How do you know he won't get cold feet again and bail? Just be smart. If you are going to dive back in, do it with both eyes completely opened!

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