Why Do I Stay?

I honestly don't know why I stay with my boyfriend. I mean, I love him, but there are so many reasons I should give up. We have known each other for almost 9 years and have been off and on the whole time but steady the last 3, we have a beautiful 17 month old daughter together, and have built a life together. But I feel like he is only with me because it's convenient. I don't feel like he will ever marry me. Does it make me selfish that I want to be a wife and not a girlfriend/baby mama for the rest of my life? I want to marry him, not just anyone. But is it really fair that I give up my dreams because he doesn't share them? We have talked and all he ever says is "It isn't happening any time soon." I am not looking to get hitched at the court house. Or Vegas. I just want the engagement. The promise that it will happen. And if he doesn't want the marriage and I do, should I find someone who DOES want it?

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  • TELL HIM WE GET MARRIED OR I'M LEAVE YOU.....

  • Probably should have THOUGHT of all this BEFORE dragging an innocent child into the middle of your mess.

    You HAVE a child with him - THAT IS A COMMITTMENT! Maybe you should have realized that fact BEFORE bringing an innocent baby into.

    Time to grow up. You want a ring. HOW ABOUT YOU FIRST UNDERSTAND HOW HE WILL SUPPORT YOUR CHILD!

  • We only live once. If you are not happy or satisfied you should consider changing that. You don't want someone to be with u because you pressured them into marrying you or being with you....right??? You have a daughter who is learning what love is and how to love, and you and him are teaching her about this. I'm sure you don't want you daughter to learn that relationships are one sided and it's okay to settle. Maybe you need you have one last conversation with him about the future and where he sees himself, then where he sees the relationship in a 5 year window.Then tell him where you want the relationship to go and that love isn't on his terms it's a joint thing. If his vision is different than your, then you should consider making a hard decision.

  • The simple answer to a complex question is, unfortunately, another question. Which do you want more: (a) the certainty of marriage, or (b) a relationship with him on his terms? My guess is that, because you ended the post with the idea of getting someone willing -- and able -- to make a commitment to you, you already know the answer. So, if that's the case, you should "find someone who DOES want it", because this guy doesn't want you: he just wants to be free to kick you to the curb if something better drives by. Sorry, but it won't ever get any better with him.

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