Are the grapes sour?

I posted not too long ago a message about being a woman and having a one time fling with a co-worker. I was asking for any advice people could give me, because I was sorry for what I did. I expected compassion for my pain and understanding from other women especially. Instead, ALL people with maybe 1 or 2 exceptions blamed me and left ugly messages about my being a w****, etc, etc. I am not a w****, I am an accountant respected in my company, but I just made one single mistake. All women on this forum pointed fingers to me and told me how miserable I deserve to be and how worthless I am, but none gave me true support or advice. Now I have the strong belief that those women who replied with so much malice, feel a great degree of envy about my fling, and would do the same provided they were in the same situation. I look much better than average, and this is probably why this co-worker chose me - that's for those ugly, fat, unemployed idiotic women who talked to me with malice on the forum. They sure feel that "grapes are sour"! :)

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  • Really, you're offended because anonymous posters who'd read your confession passed judgment and condemned you? Your lack of critical thinking leads me to believe that either you're a myopic narcicist or your not "an accountant respected in my company" by anyone, as you're delusional.

    As to your affair, these things happen. People fall off the fidelity wagon. True adults resolve the issues and try to regain the trust of the loved one they'd wronged. They don't look for sympathy or compassion, they look to reconcile and re-earn lost trust.

  • you sound like s****(whores charge money,skanks give it away)with a guilt problem.

  • I don't think you're a horrible person, nor would I judge you for your mistakes. Everybody makes them, nobody's perfect. However, I do think you were naive to expect that posters on an anonymous message board would treat you with sympathy and understanding.
    Without knowing you or knowing the whole story, people can respond in black and white terms. There are no social conventions to keep people from holding their tongues, or no human connection to help them feel empathy.
    So I don't think most people are jealous of you. I think the media that they (and you) choose to interact allows people to be freely speak their mind with no conneciton to an actual person.
    If you really wanted some advice and support, talk to a friend. Or go to counseling. You can't expect to be treated with respect and understanding on a message board. That's not what they're about.

  • You are right; this makes a lot of sense. I do not suffer that much from what I did to talk to a counselor, and I am too ashamed to talk to a friend. Time will heal it - I already feel much better than before. The first days after were the worst but it's OK now, or almost. I just thought for a moment that most people who post on message boards follow some principles of ethics. I was wrong. Thanks for the post.

  • I wouldn't say that most of the posters here are unethical, in person I bet most are decent and if you told them your story face to face, they would have probably reacted differently. There's something about seeing someone, seeing their body language, that is really important. The internet creates this huge disconnect from reality, plus it allows for people to react immediately. The result is that people often judge far more harshly then they would in other contexts.
    I do hope that you are able to move forward in whatever way is approriate and right for your situation, and that you are your family are able to heal, however that happens.

  • and let's not lose sight of the fact that the biggest "hypocrisy" here was done by the OP. and don't presume to know ANYTHING about the s** lives of other women on here. You know about the OP's because she chose a public forum to tell everybody that 1) she's married, 2) she cheated, 3)she wants sympathy and support from strangers for an act a LOT of people find reprehensible.

    SOME people on here, married or not, might be posting the more unpopular comments out of disgust. Now how does that translate to not liking s**? One has NOTHING to do with the other.

  • I don't think it's "disgust". I think some people just hate the idea that their spouses may do the same at one point in time (or already did) and are scared to death. That's real insecurity.

  • Not exactly...what you do is your own business, but honestly, cheating aside, you cant expect sympathy when you respond to everyone like such a condescending b****....honey.

  • Wow... I read all the comments for this title and it seems there are only 3 types of characters involved: the married woman who had a fling (like she was the only one in this world or men never cheat); a man who actually likes her and considers her "sweet and sexy", "Clever. Classy. Passionate and playful"; AND a bunch of bitter women led by the "queen of the hypocritical world", the classical woman who hates s** because she was never able to enjoy it. Enjoyable lecture, though!

  • You say , Sweet and sexy" I say Stupid and Selfish!

  • Save your breath dearie, they'll just have to learn the hard way.

  • I am sure you can have her, so many have!
    She was not irresistible to the young man, he had no interest in her after he had his way with her once. Wonder why?
    Classy is not an adjective I would use to describe her!But to each their own.

  • What do you mean by "so many have", you s***? I read all these postings and you are the lowest of the lowest, judging everyone by your own standards. If she cheated once, that doesn't mean that "so many have" had her. Maybe that's true in your trailer world culture, w****! S**** you, b****, stop posting online; because of you they talk about dirty "web culture", instead of "inter-personal communication"!

  • You still give low blows, although I am sure you don't even believe what you are saying. "...so many have!" is a really cheap shot, as well as "...he had no interest in her after he had his way with her once." From your words I understand that women have no say in a relationship, long term or fling. Well, in my opinion, such belief is much worse that what I did. At least I did it once in my life and I regret it (just a little, true, but I regret it) but you will keep thinking like this for all your (low) life.

  • Which statement was untrue? NEITHER! Your are so wrong!! Women have all the say UNLESS they give up control. Here is a life's lesson, women are always in CONTROL!!Never give up your control!Have high standards, always respect your self.
    Always keep your dignity. Do NOT allow anyone to abuse you in any way.Always treat other people fairly.This is all up to you! As for my life, you would not believe what a wonderful life I live! There is nothing I want that I don't already have! I am not bragging, just giving you a peek into my world.

  • I'm sensing some real insecurities. This stuff about women having all the say and control is clearly a defense mechanism. Somebody has hurt you badly and you are lashing out. If your life is perfect now (first in history) that's great but you need to let go of that anger. You know full well men can manipulative and underhanded and seize control, just like women can. When you've fallen into that trap it threatens your self respect and dignity. No, do not accept any abuse. But keep real. A v***** is not shield from pain. You have repeatedly attacked this woman because you disapprove of she did and she does not show what you consider the proper amount of regret for that. She had s** with a co-worker and does not want that isolated event to mess up her good marriage. Give her a break. She seems sweet and sexy to me.

  • Alas, if only I could see it that way. Instead, I see a woman filled with sexual energy, irresistable to that young co-worker. Finally, she unleashes her pent-up passions in one hot taboo evening. She is more than that sexual being, however. She loves her husband and feels twinges of guilt. She posts her confession, hoping to relieve some of that guilt. Instead, she is assaulted by puritanical wretches. Her response is to reveal more of her true self. Witty. Clever. Classy. Passionate and playful. If only I could have her for one night. If only.

  • Thank you. Your posts were rays of sunshine on a Tuesday morning... They will boost my confidence (already pretty high anyways - that was for those who had fresh low blows in the oven...lol) the whole day...lol :)))

  • Chas, don't you mean that ROTTEN FRUIT !!!

  • I have a somewhat related confession. I have become deeply fascinated with a woman who posted here about cheating one time on her husband. She is obviously intelligent, playful, strong and comes across as quite sexy. Unfortunately, she has vowed not to cheat again. That only makes her more attractive to me. How I wish I was the co-worker who tasted that forbidden fruit.

  • Wow, just don't lose focus on the fact your husband can never find out about this affair. You love him and have a good marriage. You don't want to mess that up so keeping this thing quiet is the key. It sounds like it was all pretty exciting and you don't have great regrets. But then you get all defensive with people on here. I suspect you're just having fun arguing back and forth. I also am finding the man magnet amusing. Man, she must be hot to have so many men l****** after her. Or, god forbid, she's sending out signals she's up for some action, then pulling back in mock indignation when they make their move. She's enjoying playing the attention w**** but it's a dangerous game. One day, a guy will make his play and she'll go for it. She'll stop judging you then.

  • and furthermore, I've been hit on by single men too, plenty; still happens, so yes, I take care of myself and that gets me attention from men, however, when the man is MARRIED, that makes it a different ballgame altogether. But we're talking about the OP, she's disappointed she's not getting the "understanding" she thought she might find here and implying that the rest of us are ugly or fat or envious is an insult to every woman here. I haven't seen anybody's picture posted up with their comments, so that was totally unfounded.

  • Too many explanations, honey. You sound insecure and need a lot of reassurance...

  • No, just clarifying my statements, (and bored at the same time) and I can't stand women who try to dig at other women by attacking their looks. Now THAT'S insecurity.

  • Point being, I turned them down. The OP suggested that all the comments she was getting were from ugly, fat or unattractive women who were JEALOUS of her fling. I'm a good looking woman, and a woman doesn't have to DO anything for a married man who is looking to cheat to try and see if she's game. You totally missed my point, just because they made the offer, didn't mean I was accepting it. If some other woman did, that was THEM, but it wasn't going to be me. Are you saying it's my fault those men flirted with me? What did I do? All I did was be at work when this drug rep came in all the time. As for the other one, all I did was work in the same office building where both he AND his wife were clients. As for the OP, it doesn't matter spit what she looks like, it's too late now, but I'd bet she had more than one opportunity to get up and leave or run down the hall half dressed at the very last minute before anything REALLY happened. She didn't. I bet she doesn't "flirt" ever again with any man married or not. If she does, then she hasn't really learned a thing.

  • Oh puh-leeese! Envy you! Not hardly dear, not at ALL! And you presume the rest of us are fat or ugly or jealous? I feel sorry for you, you reek of insecurity. Just so you know, I'm FABULOUS and I've had an offer from a married man who was so persistant he sat in the lobby and waited for me to get off of work. He was so stupid, I reminded him I KNEW his wife!! I told another one "sure I'll come camping with you, as long as your wife and kids come too." You were "curious" but didn't think things would go that far? Exactly what kind of curiosity were you entertaining, how it would feel to cheat? Did these men target me because I was so attractive and should be so flattered they were interested? No, it was because they thought they'd be successful! Please, if you don't believe me, ask a man!

  • In your dreams... LMAO!!! You made my day! "I'm FABULOUS and I've had an offer from a married man..."...LMAO... What the h*** have you done to have "an offer" from a married man? Thought you were innocent, honey!... LMAO

  • hahaha... You are funny, have sense of humor and seem to be intelligent. Don't worry about those who blame you, obviously you understand very well where the mistake was. I bet your husband will never find out, but just in case he will, be prepared with the "denial plan", as someone suggested above. It's the only way out, because he can't really prove anything. Be yourself, but if it ever happens again (although you said "once was enough"), at least don't do it with people from work or with family friends.

  • Hypocritical? That is your FIRST name! Look up the definition.
    You are deceitful, 2-faced, phony, AND dishonest!And just think all that is directed to your husband and family.
    Maybe your husband is also cheating.Pay back is a b****! Just like you!

  • Honest, YES! But you will never understand that, because you are just hypocritical.

  • All the name calling in the world does not change the fact that you are a cheater and a liar! Stop trying to defend your slutty actions.You did it, NOW OWN IT! You are a fraud!You actually wanted more but he didn't. Now you have to live with yourself! You are not even a little bit remorseful. If you were contrite, there may be a scintilla of support for you, but NOOOOOO, you have to resort to calling ugly names and you really think that you are special i.e. an accountant, better looking than the other employees and they all respect you!!PLUS you think the women here are envious of your sleazy one night stand!OMG, you are delusional. Every woman on earth can have a one night stand... NO EXCEPTIONS! Two things men really love, f@#$king and eating !! So you ARE NOT SPECIAL, actually you are not as good as the women who honor their marriage and respect their husbands. Women who have a clear conscience. Women who are not worried each and every minute that their husbands will find out and throw them out.Here's a question,
    WAS IT WORTH IT???

  • You know you make a statement that you were fairly happy in your marriage and life and still strayed. It has nothing to do with the way you look or what people look like that are commenting. That's what people don't understand. Why risk it all? But I'm not sure how many women bond over cheating..you know. It's not like you go to a club and someone says ..oh yes, I cheated once too..but just one time. Lets be friends. There's a difference between being the cheater vs. the cheatee. I think more sympathy goes to the one who was cheated on. Cheating, whether it is physical or emotional, robs the trust you have with your partner. You did what you did..can't go back. You have to deal (however that looks) with the consequences. And you've posted twice so you're dealing with something. Guilt, Regret, fear of your husband finding out. You want advice...you just have to deal with it.

  • You are the typical low class trailer trash who wants compassion and understanding when YOU were the evil doer!You think BECAUSE we are women we should have sympathy for you even when you are the liar and cheater, but if it were a man we are suppose to hang him.You are so ignorant and obtuse to even think that being an "accountant" is something special.You may have been slightly respected at one time in your company..... but not anymore!!Just wait until lover boy spills the beans, and he will, they always do!Men just love to brag!You may even lose your job or even be sued for sexual harassment! Didn't you say he was younger than you? You won't have to tell your husband, EVERYONE will know it.

  • LMAO... another mentally sick, sexually frustrated, hypocritical, full of envy, ugly, never-been-loved person...

  • I just responded to your original post without seeing this. In summary, if you love your husband and want to stay with him do not tell him. Have a denial plan in place if the guy ever talks. On another note, the poster above kind of turned me on with all that "easy, cheap s****" ... "another shot at your ass" ... "FREE P" talk. Baby we can make it happen. And I'll never tell.

  • LOL... Thanks for your advice, it has common sense. I also read your original comment - don't worry, I didn't catch the bug; one time was enough for me. :)

  • You two belong together. Nothing like lies to keep a marriage strong.

  • No one gave you support because what you did was disgusting!!
    Believe it OR not, just because you are a woman does NOT excuse you! I have absolutely NO RESPECT for male or female who cheats on their mates.You wanted to come here and confess and get sympathy but you are unwilling to tell your husband. he is the one who has to forgive you, not people on a message board.And you have the temerity to say that we may envy YOU!LOL!!! He didn't chose you because you "look good", he chose you because you are a easy, cheap s****! You PROVED it when you had s** with him. You admitted he did not want another shot at your ass! BTW,have you EVER known a guy to turn down FREE P.? you must be even more skanky than I thought!

  • Honey, as you probably already know, in my case I was sorry for the only fling I ever had outside marriage, while if you ever happened to have a fling, I am sure it would be your fling partner the one who would be sorry for the rest of his life.

  • Yeah s**** them everyone makes a mistake. And you should know women are the most bitter and spiteful when they are jealous or something reveals a inner feeling they poses.

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