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F*cked
My ex turned out to be still married after I'd been with him 6 months.He wanted to break up with his wife and be with me. He was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. He is the biggest liar, piece of controlling sh*t I have ever met in my life. And he is the only guy I have ever loved. I feel nothing for any one else. I haven't been in contact with him for a year and a half and I still cry because I miss him. I have no problem getting a boyfriend but I'm scared sh*tless that I will never care about someone like that again. How f*cked up.
I think it goes deeper than that. Women abuse themselves by hooking up with ** like her ex. She knows he's ** but for some reason she still wants to punish herself by fantasizing that he's the love of her life. Vicious circle and pattern.
You love what you know you can't ever fully have. You're hanging on to it because you didn't have closure with this guy. Move on...