I dnt feel as sad as i thought i would, but maybe all the crying will kick in a little later.. who knows.
i dnt wna cry cause i feel numb. kinda no feeling.
this little itty bitty light deeeep down is saying were gna be ok, but the rest of me is thinkin no.
in a weird way i kinda dnt wna try this again, its gna be the same, ill nvr change..yull nvr change. i kno tht being with me, ur prolly no happier than i. i make yu miserable cause i b**** all day. and yu make it miserable cause the way yu act. Its weird tho cause as much as yu changed ur the same exact person yu've always been..how yu ask? ur still the typical guy, ass, t***, money, weed, same s*** there and yu still have the same attitude how yu dnt care about anything, including me. But at least before yu were so sweet. i loved it:] i loved sitting on my backporch smokin with yu an hangin out, all of it. but im jus gna suck it up an accept it. Because jus like a mirror, its better to leave it broken then hurting yourself trying to fix it. Yu didnt have too much pride in me anyway, around anyone yu were very....'standoff-ish'? i guess yud say. lik yu cudnt be seen with me. this helps tho, lettin it out, everything i wnted to say im gna say right now;
I hate tht yu have so many crushes on other girls, even if yu dnt act on em, its the thought tht im not the only one ur worried about.
I hate tht yu have a picture of yu n tht b**** as ur default, why isnt tht a picture of me?
I hate tht yu sit around an play black ops all day...
I hate tht its so easy for yu to jus let it roll off ur sholder.
I hate tht ur family just started gettin along with me, an now its over.
I hate tht i kno ur there right now.
I hate tht dnt ever see my side of things, although i nvr see urs either.
I hate tht yu still chill with the dude tht stole my f****** fone >:/
I hate tht yu put me last, cause ur the first thing on my mind when i get up an the last when i go to bed.
I hate how yu think cause were together im ur homeboy. no its not lik tht. its called bein ur girl for a reason.
I hate tht yu take so fkin long to txt back.
&& i hate knowin i wasnt forced to do this, i stayed around and gave my all. tht makes this harder,
I KNOW THIS IS RIGHT THO.
im no gud for yu an ur not for me either.
in the end i have no regrets, cause i kno i gave it my all.
sumtimes ppl jus change an forget to tell each other i guess. i dnt kno,
confusing. confusing. confusing.
why is it when i think of not havin yu i feel plain but when i think of gettin yu back i feel scared, not happy, very odd if yu ask me.
well i guess we'll see wat happends jus hope this cry baby b**** session goes by real fast. :/
hm well seee.