I'm a bad man
I regret i lost my integrity as a man and my own sense of morality. i was drunk and went to sleep in my bed. a girl had passed out there. i woke her up to tell her i was laying down and to make sure she was ok. most of this is fuzzy. she said it was ok drunkly. it was either then i laid down or she went to the bathroom. at some point i laid down and we wrapped around each other i think. i don't know if i thought she was into me or what, but i put my hand by her "lady area" and asked if it was ok and she very drunkly said yes so i fingered her for a second.
almost instantly my conscious seemed to pop up and i stopped. maybe then she went to the bathroom... god i can't remember. i still passed out next to her and woke up wrapped around her and i grabbed her b*** i think. i don't know what i was thinking, she was really drunk. i apologized to her a few days later and she didn't seem to care at all. she told me it takes a big man to tell the truth, but i think a big man never would have done that. it was one of the hardest things i've ever done telling her that.
she doesn't mind but i hate myself. i think i raped her. it makes me wonder if i can ever be happy or call myself a good man again. my friends tell me i'm over thinking this but idk. i've always been the guy that took care of drunk girls and made sure nothing happened to them. i'm so lost i don't think i'll ever find myself again.