Fear Is no man's friend and neither is time

I'm just going to say it. I'm a s***. I've dated 8 guys in the last 8 months and i can't even say that i've liked anyone of them. I dumped my last bf 2 weeks ago( i think, see! i'm not even sure) and my greatest fear has been brought to my eyes once again. I act really happy when i see people but, my happiness is just an act. I'm never happy. I'll never find love and I'll grow old alone and die alone with no one. I have a massive fear of being alone. Without a soul to even listen to me. When no one is around i talk to myself, i hear voices, and I think about killing myself. My friends have already told me to kill myself and the only reason i stick around them is so i'm not alone. People crack jokes about how crazy and hyper i am but, i'm not really that hyper. People molded me into that person in preschool so, that's how i act. I'm quite smart and civilized but, I don't act that way when kids are around. My whole life is a lie!

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  • youll find love, you have to get over your fear of being alone first though. stop dating guys you dont feel a genuine connection with. i know its hard, its so much easier to be with someone than to be alone but you have to do it. it will make you happier in the long run, i promise. youre not a s***, either, dont think that. theres nothing wrong with s** and dating. good luck, i hope you find peace and happiness.

  • Yes, you are beating yourself up too much. Take a more relaxed attitude toward life. And dump those loser friends.

  • everyone feels alone and mixed up in different emotions when their teens. I think one of the greatest shared fear by everyone is that we'll end up alone. think of that nichelback song... ? nobody wants to be the last one left ?. it makes sense. just knowing that you're not alone and NOT CRAZY for feeling this way can make it better. and remember that highschool and teen years are just temporary and is no way a substitute for the real world, once you get out there. Dont kill yourself. give yourself a chance. (no one really stays good friends with ppl from highschool anyways... everybody's too busy trying to get a life :P) just wait until your out of school for a year and ask yourself the same question. i bet you;ll have a bf, and be taking an art class or some s***. like i said - give yourself time. Sometimes we're just late bloomers :)

  • I feel for you, u sound like u need an outlet to express yourself. Have u ever tired art or poetry to let out some of the things that u can't tell people? Your "friends" sound like real a*******!!! There are real people out there who will like you for who u are, have u ever tried joining a group that revolves around an activity that u r interested in? That might be a good way to connect with other people who might have similar interests and be like minded. Also you might have an undiagnosed mental disorder which is not ur fault and doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with u but does mean that u need help, and that u can get better and be happy in the future. You deserve to be happy! I wish u all the best and send u all my love. Also if ur seriously thinking of killing yourself please talk to someone. U r in my prayers

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