I hate my step daughter

My stepdaughter is 19 with a “good paying” full time job and still lives at home. I could give you 100 examples as to what a pain in everyone’s ** she is and what a negative impact she has on our household and all the chaos and dysfunction that she causes. She is both immature and combative about everything and makes our home life unbearable at times. I have been with and married to her mother for 11 years now. Never in a million years did I think 11 years ago that this ADULT child would still be living at home at 19. If I had I might have “rethought” marriage. I thought that her mom and I would be free to live our life by now and be free of an immature and just all around crappy person that this girl has turned out to be. I am at the point now where I am almost forced to ** it up and tolerate stepdaughters ** or just move on and get on with the rest of my life void of her mother. Does or has any other stepparent felt this way and how do you deal with ADULT pain in the ** stepchildren who refuse to go out and make a life for themselves?

Yea, I agree that most (not all) ADULT step kids are nothing more than a pain in EVERYONES **. If you have never had stepchildren there is no need for you to read this “opinion” because you CANNOT and WILL NOT understand the dysfunction that stepchildren bring to a marriage/household and you CANNOT comprehend the chaos and dysfunction that ADULT stepchildren bring to the family dynamic. It is just drama, drama, drama, and more drama. My stepdaughter with a full time job will complain about how unhappy she is at home yet at the same time she has no motivation or desire to move out. I knew when I married someone with SMALL CHILDREN that they would be my responsibility to help raise but I never dreamed that they would NEVER want to move out and have a life of their own. In closing I have a message for all you self-centered, selfish, entitled, and just all around crappy step kids; contrary to what you may believe “bio mom/bio dad” wants your ** to move out also. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your “bio parent” wants you to stay around forever because they don’t. Pack up, move out, start your own life and let “bio mom/dad” FINALLY enjoy their life WITHOUT having ADULT children in the house…👍

I have been a step dad to my stepdaughter for 11 years now. She is 18 now, out of school, and working 30 plus hours a week making decent money for an 18 year old. She (SD) has ALWAYS been a pain in everyone’s **, but since she became a teenager she has turned our family life into dysfunction and chaos with her selfishness, her self-centered attitude, and her all around crappy disposition. Every problem that she has is ALWAYS someone else’s fault (in her mind) and basically she is just a dark cloud over our family. The entire mood of the home changes when she walks through the door. This is not just my opinion as her mother completely agrees that this child is a train wreck. She was supposed to move out after her work training ended a few weeks ago but now SD finds every excuse in the world not to go. The potential roommates that she has proposed to move in with eventually see her as immature and see her self centered selfish attitude and quickly withdraw any invitation to have her as a roommate. I have waited 11 years to see her leave and now it looks like she is never going to leave! Every time I see hope that she is going to move out something happens to negate the move. I just hate her and I HATE how her nasty attitude affects our family. Anyone else having trouble getting your ADULT STEPCHILDREN to get the ** out? It is very discouraging to think that this child is never going to leave..😔

I’ve got 2 horrible ADULT step daughters well had not anymore finally left their dad oh god I’m crushed my mental health and physical health has been the worst it’s ever been I think I’ve got ptsd from the trauma of having them in my life there’s no way I can put up with anymore bullying of these two and manipulation they do to their dad they are disgusting adults when it suits and baby’s the rest of the time they live at home no respect at all He can’t see bad in them ever and defends the horrible behaviour. I can’t take anymore I have one life and I’m not prepared to live in this unhealthy unhappy relationship. He should see how selfish they are not letting him have his happiness after all the sacrifices he made bringing them up alone they are cruel to deny him of that. They are jealous and creepy the way they behave now I’ve told him this is inappropriate now at their ages he really cannot see wrong in them ever

Thankfully my husband is signing over all rights to the stepdaughter and she will legally no longer be his daughter or anything. This is the best news ever and I can’t wait until that dumb ** step daughter is no longer legally related to us.

You sound like a real piece of work. You should be reported to Child Protective Services. That is actionable. She is a child. You're supposed to be the adult.

Spoken like someone who has never had the “pleasure” of raising selfish, entitled, immature, and all around crappy stepchildren. Before you “judge” stepparents who grow tired of the DAILY chaos and dysfunction that come along with raising stepchildren you should live one day in our (stepparents) lives and your condemnation of stepparents would QUICKLY turn to sympathy and appreciation for those same stepparents that freely give of themselves to unappreciative and entitled stepchildren. In other words stop feeling sorry for stepchildren that GO OUT OF THEIR WAY to make their stepparents life miserable.

She is not a child. Shes an adult, a manipulative adult at that.

That's not a child that's an adult and adults should move tf out

I totally agree. All you can do is blow off the stepdaughter completely and live your life without her in it.

I feel the same about my wife's daughter. A nasty in every way. Because of her own insurcurities in her life. Can not stand to be around her. Her way of thinking is f*** up! ..backwards, irresponsible, and in her 30,s with a nasty attitude. Sad think is her mother knows it.

We should just be done with blended families. The concept is flawed and it’s unnatural. Adoption is another story but blended/mixed families are more trouble to everyone than they are worth.

A lot of truth in this statement!

Unfortunately, I agree. My step-** destroyed my family. I didn't want to let her "win", but I couldn't tolerate her anymore. Now she's a depressed loser
druggie who cuts herself. Too bad she can't bite the bullet & make the wounds deeper - I don't really mean that, but the fact that such a thought would cross my mind is indicative of how much I detest her.
She adds no value to society. Even my ex (her biological father) tells me that he hates her.
I like sleeping over at her father's house (we are separated but still have a very sexual relationship) b/c I know it upsets her. Her pain brings me pleasure.

It’s
So sad you have so much hate in your heart. Have you ever tried to help her or show her love? Family is supposed to be about live. I hope God will transform and soften your heart.

Geeeeesh!!…😏…What a “snowflake” response! Apparently you have never tolerated rude, self-centered, self-serving, entitled, and just all around crappy step kids. If you had you would understand why being a stepparent can make you hard and callous after months and years of “abuse” at the hands of these incredulous little individuals all the while trying to tolerate their ** because you love and want to be with their father/mother. Bottom line is that step kids are THE WORST! My hope for you is that one day you can experience the “joys” of being a stepparent. I would imagine that when and if you do that the “snowflake” attitude that you seem to carry now will turn to a white hot hate for those miserable step kids that slap you with one hand and then hold out the other one wanting something from you. Good Luck…👍

OH my God yes. This business of "detest"? With all the hatred and emotional and psychological abuse she's had in her life no wonder she uses drugs. You need help. I feel so sorry for that child with such a caustic and foul mouthed statement. The way you right off the bat called her the C word shows what trash you are. I'm quite sure you've called her that and worse. I feel sick just reading of your own self hatred. You hate yourself worse than anybody.

OMG!! Yes, I agree that family should be about love but when you have self-centered, immature, entitled, and just all around horrible step kids in the “family”, the family dynamic changes. I am a stepparent and I DO NOT hesitate to inform you that smart ** incredulous step kids makes it IMPOSSIBLE to have a “normal” family dynamic. If you do not, or cannot understand that then my suggestion to you would be to go back to baking cookies for the church bazaar and throw your “rose colored glasses” in the trash as they have distorted your view of reality…😏

I wish my 7 year old stepdaughter would just stay away from my family. When I met my husband, we dated and I got pregnant/ we got engaged. I made it very clear to him that I was wanting a separate family life; I actually left the BF I had before my husband because he had a daughter from a previous relationship and he was very involved (I don’t want to be involved and I don’t want to take care of any kid that I didn’t spend 9 months carrying, I just don’t want that burden…hence, why I LEFT). I told my husband this when we met and he was in the middle of divorcing his ex wife, he didn’t see his kid for a while and during that time everything was great. He would see her minimally and it wouldn’t really eat up much time, we planned to move out of town - 2 hours away, which meant he would be seeing his kid less.

Now, 3 years later our bio daughter is older and he has had a change of heart and wanted my bio kid to meet his 7 year old. I said no and he took her to meet that mistake anyway, after he already knew I was uncomfortable. I don’t want my daughter forming some sort of temporary relationship with his kid because I asked for a separate family before we got married and before I had kids. I didn’t agree to this, his ex already agreed that her new husband would adopt her, why bring our bio kid into the mix?

Can I just enjoy my life without these family interferences from his past mistakes? He knew I left my ex because I’m not some charity who takes in other peoples kids. It’s not me and it never will be. Not everyone functions/thinks that way. I asked for our privacy, though he could see his mistake like once a month or whatever his arrangement is with his ex wife. Now he wants to make the visits more regular and I am actually even willing to move across the country to keep that mistake from disturbing my family.

Well, if you told him you wanted a sep. family to begin with and he still married you-he should honor that. I mean, he knew what you wanted and didn’t want before. I don’t see why the change of heart on his end tho?

He is feeling some sort of dumb ** guilt or remorse when he found out his ex’s new husband was going to adopt their mistake. So he wanted to make up for it but honestly, my take is-that’s his problem not mine. His guilt isn’t my guilt. I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my own happiness for his newfound guilt that he developed. Especially after I made it clear I wanted boundaries.

You are evil.

You need Jesus lady

A 7 year old child needs their father. How can you be so selfish and hateful? I hope God can help all those involved in this. I hope you will soften your heart. Your husband has a right to see his cold.

Oh I so agree. 7! What an evil heart and black soul.

You need to grow up. All of the step mothers who hate the children they married into deserve a special place in **. She probably treats you badly because you aren't good to her. Just another case of a jealous step mom. If you wanted a man to yourself you should have chosen one without children. You obviously aren't a good stepmom. I'm glad her Dad at least stands up for her.

Well, that was a rude and insensitive comment! You're the one that needs to GROW UP and while you're at it get some help. You have NO idea what the situation is and who the ** are you to make a judgment call? You're PROJECTING, your own misery on others.

What an asinine, judgemental, narrow minded and uninformed comment that is. Your ignorance on the subject of being a step-parent is blatantly obvious. Bring a step-parent should be cause to have a special place in HEAVEN rather than **. We as step-parents just at times get fed up with the ** that comes along with being a step-parent due to immature, entitled, and smartass kids that "bio-parent" coddles and babies to the point of enabling behavior that should not be tolerated. "Bio-parents of divorce tend to parent out of guilt and the chaos that ensues from that parenting style often makes the step-parents life a living **. Please "get a clue" before you judge step-parents just because they grow tired of the ** that comes along with blended families.

Wow!!!!!!!!
Your the one that deserves to be in **.
God help you.

You’re an **

You sound like a complete idiot- probably the type that's jealous because her dad is having ** with someone. What's the deal with that? Do you sickos want to have sexual contact w/your own fathers?

Jealous step children should NOT die, because it would upset the biological parent (and presumably others). They should disappear forever but remain safe and healthy.

My report was a mistake. I love your response.

Boy, you got that right! MY poor daughter suffers the tortures of the damned with her hateful, cruel, immature and narcissistic wife of her dad" s . He's probably got his first dime and she's an obvious gold digger.

God Love u, I myself am dealing with same situation. Been in my 18yr olds life since she was 1 but all of a sudden she now hates me and takes up all my husband's attention, and she hates me for what reason I know not. Done so much for her but she hates me. Her mom lives in CA my husband her father lives in NJ she has had a split life her entire life so here I am dealing with the aftermath of them spoiling the ** out of her. She's mean hurtful lazy & disrespectful to me. I literally just want out of it all.

I totally understand.

Sometimes step kids take it out on their step parent. Why??? Just because they can.

I agree and the “why” is because in most cases the “bio-parent” is parenting out of guilt which gives little “Johnny” or little “Susie” all the power in the family. With that power in hand the self-centered stepchild then sees the stepparent as just another sibling which in turns creates chaos in the family dynamic. “Bio-Parents” all too often are the root cause of dysfunction by parenting out of guilt and by this misguided style of parenting they allow the perpetuation of dysfunctional in blended families and the stepparent ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE an easy target to blame everyone’s problems on.

I have a 16 year old stepdaughter. Her mother and I have been together 9 years, married for 3. In the beginning the "attitude" and immature behavior of the stepdaughter was tolerable. As of late however her behavior and attitude have just become unbearable as her "teenage attitude" makes life at home just miserable. When this girl walks into the house the ENTIRE mood of the home changes as she is CONSTANTLY combative about EVERYTHING. Even her mother admits that this girl is just a ** at times! Sorry but SHE IS a ** and I have ZERO problem telling her that while her mother seems to be "emotionally" scared of her and doesn't want to make her "angry" or require ANYTHING from her in the way of empthaty or respect for anyone. Her immaturity is exacerbated by the fact that "bio mom" does EVERYTHING for her. She does ALL her homework, she cleans her room, (this girl is a PIG!) she packs her school lunch, she plays "snooze alarm" in the mornings and goes in her room at least 4 times to get her up for school, she cleans her car, she starts her car for her in the morning, she gets all her school stuff together for her, and pretty much treats her like she is 8 years old. THIS GIRL IS A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL!! Stepdaughter doesn't like me because I require more maturity from her while mom seems happy letting her be "stuck" at age 8. I have developed a "hate" for my stepdaughter as she has been allowed by her moms passive attitude to treat me with the level of disrespect that NOONE deserves. Needless to say this causes great stress on our marriage as I am trying to teach this girl "life lessons" while mom is content with just doing EVERYTHING for her. Stepdaughter has been tested with an IQ of 78 which for some reason mom takes the blame for due to difficulties during birth. So in essence mom is parenting out of guilt and feels the need to somehow "make up" for that 78 IQ which she takes blame for. While I love my wife, I have grown to hate my stepdaughter even more.

Haha haha ** **, sounds like my step daughter and my wife. Well the father needs a good kick up the ** As a wake up call and boot his ** out also. What is wrong with these people seriously? My wife is just the same. ** stepdaughter who I have tried everything but be nice to but she cannot help make Smuck rude comments. Then after weeks of it I go off at her and then I get blamed by my wife for doing so and also told that she is the way she is because of me **.

She already did. I think you should have addressed it with him, as you said she's not grown up. I mean 24, but not grown up.

My stepdaughter 26 years of age is a passive aggressive narcissist. She lives with her bipolar mother whom she hates with a passion however she says she has the best mother in the whole wide world. Maybe so because the mother treats her like a friend, they go drinking together... classy mother....classy daughter.

When my husbands daughter comes over there is no hi to me nothing. She stares at me like I was a caged animal
She claims she took etiquette class in school but I swear she must have not attended one single class, the kid farts, snorts at the table, can’t use a knife and fork and sits on a chair with her leg up like her ** needs to get aired out... gross
Did I say she is 26 years old.
At our wedding she was late,, of course ... she had to be the center of attention.
No hi to me, nothing ...
Our guests At the table started to tap their glass with utensil to get everyone’s attention and said 1st kiss...
Guess who got the first kiss...
Father and daughter...
Tell me I don’t have a creep on my hands... the worse kind..
She’ll sit on her fathers laps, asked him to caress her legs while she twirls his hair and kisses him on his neck
When I says that’s creepy I’m being told I’m jealous ..
Ok
I don’t think anyone would be jealous about anything I just mentioned.
Welcome to my world.

I can’t be around disfunction so I told my husband to meet his daughter at her house. or a park or somewhere far from my house...
Yes it’s my house that she Is use to coming over and disrespected me. I purchased the house way before I met my husband.

I ran into the same issue with my husbands daughter from his first marriage. I finally told him people were talking about the inappropriate relationship between them. She was not part of our lives for 10 years. She just had her first baby at 43 with a guy she met online. There are not engaged or married. I now feel like she is using the baby to pull her father away from me again. I'm keeping quiet for awhile to see what happens. Don't trust her with a 10 foot pole.

After reading all these comments, it made me feel better. I hate my stepdaughter. She was a mistake from when he was a teen and so was her mother. She kept her from him for TEN years (they’re in another country). Come to find out, she was telling her things like her father was a monster, like Chucky, when he tried to see her or talk to her. Well, that loser had problems in her marriage and found out he had a job and family, so then she started using SD to manipulate my husband to send her money. She never cared what he was doing or about her half siblings, just money, money, money. Whatever. We sent it. Then this loser got pregnant at 14! And she expected US to pay the bill and send more money for her. Ugh. She’s disgusting and manipulative, just like her mother taught her to be. There’s nothing we can do for her. She friended me on Facebook and I don’t really interact with her. She calls her dad acting jealous over what we have or what we do for fun that is honestly because of ME and all the work I’ve done. I work. Her POS mother has never worked. It makes me furious that she acts entitled, never says thank you, and expects us to do for her what I do for my kids when I simply can’t since she’s in another country. I wish she’d disappear.

Defriend and block her From Facebook. That’s a start

I used to feel bad for saying or even thinking that I "HATED" my stepdaughter. Afterall, hate is something that should not exist inside a family unit. Throw all that "common sense" thinking out the window though when there is an IMMATURE 16 year old girl inside the family that thrives and lives for chaos and distinction. This child (my stepdaughter) makes our lives miserable with her attitude, her arrogance, her constant state of combativness, and her immaturity that knows no bounds! She wants the "priveliges" of being an adult while at the same time wanting the advantages of being a child with ZERO consequences for her actions. The VERY moment she walks into our home the ENTIRE "mood" of the home changes as she will actually look for things to argue and ** about. I believe my wife is emotionally scared of her as she gets away with so much of her teenage **. I on the other hand DO NOT tolerate it and we (stepdaughter) are CONSTANTLY at odds with one another. While I am trying to teach her life lessons and how to treat people, my wife simply enables her behavior. I pray that I live long enough to see my stepdaughter have a MISERABLE ** ADULT LIFE, as she deserves it. Call me an ** if you like but if you lived with and tolerated this little teenage ** you would feel the VERY SAME way. I HATE MY TEENAGE STEPDAUGHTER!!

Slap the birch and slap
Her hard before banging her head accidentally on the door jam as she exits. This things at the wedding? I would have paid someone to wipe cake in her face

That is disgusting!!!!!!

Awful behavior from her. It’s up to your husband to recognize how problematic it is and put a stop to it ASAP.

Eurggh that's just gross, Run for the hills