Torn and hopeless

Im in love with one man and married to another. i wont talk to the man im in love with anymore bec i do love my husband, just not the same way. the other guy is (was) my best friend. my husbands more like a family member that i truly love in that family like way. i feel so depressed bec im afraid ill never be able to be happy either way - i love my husband way too much to leave him/lose him. the heartbreak over that loss, not to mention the shame, would forever mar any new relationship. so i stopped talking to my friend and now im just trying really hard to have a good, satisfying relationship with my husband - initiating s**, trying to spend quality time, calling him/texting him throughout the day...wish me luck please, im so depressed, i feel hopeless like this will never get better. i have so many blessings in life, including how wonderful and sweet my husband is that i feel too selfish and horrible to even complain about this to one really understands im confessing here. i met my soulmate and its technically in my power to be with him but if do i dont believe wed actually get to be happy bec of everything else. theres a right and wrong way in life and unfortunately they dont always directly correlate with feeling good and feeling bad.


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  • im the op...thanks for your advice guys. yeah i slept with the other guy - horrible, right? i know. not making excuses...i wish everything was different, but what i actually wish for i dont know. that i met my friend first, that i never got married, that i never met my friend at all? none of those really work. to the last poster...that makes me so sad to heart that, and im sorry for you. it sucks to think that doing the right thing wont lead to peace. how do you deal with that? im afraid ill be in the same situation 12 years down the line.

  • I'm kind of in the same situation. Me and my ex have both have kids now so there is no way I would be a home wrecker and bring doom on us all because I can't make up my mind.

    If you love these guys then you want them to be happy. Therefore stay your course. I've been doing it 12 years.

    But I still dream of him 2-3x week.

  • It sounds like you made a decision, though it seems kind of shaky. Did you sleep with the other guy?

  • You have a good your heart to focus on your husband. That's the path to true happiness. Any other way leads to shame and guilt.

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