I take all kinds of anti depressants

I take all kinds of anti depressants, I've tried everything there is to try and I never feel any better. Some times I'll find a medication that makes me feel numb and that's sort of ok. Most of the time I just wish I was dead though. I think about killing myself all the time. I want to just go to sleep and never wake up. I'm married with two kids and I love them all so much. They are the only things that keep me from doing it. It's so hard sometimes though. It's not their fault, they're all wonderful. I've been this way my whole life I think. I don't know how to make it better and I can't stand the thought of going through the rest of my life like this when Im only 25. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. I hate the thoughts that go through my head. I look at the rest of the world and think it's a horrible place that's not worth living in. I want to be happy but I don't know how. Even when everything is going right I'm still miserable.

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  • Have you tried marijuana? I know how that sounds, but I am dead serious. It can really help you to relax, and be happy!

  • Take up masturbation.

    It heals the soul.

  • Kill yourself, stop stalling. Make a huge mess when you do it too. Let everyone drown in their tears and choke on your blood.

  • sometimes the anti-depressants actually make things worse, they can make you think about suicide when you might not think about it normally.... I know how you feel though, I've struggled with depression since I was 13. concentrate on your family and on the things that make you feel whole. try to find things you enjoy and have a passion for, that make you want to live life to the fullest. you have so much time ahead of you and so much potential, I hope you can learn to love yourself just like you are loved :)

  • I know this is going to sound simplistic, but start eating organic food, avoid wheat and dairy, and avoid all artificial sweeteners and colors. Get some regular exercise. Get some counselling. Even make it a family thing! If you do this, in one year you will probably be cured from your depression.

  • I work. My kids have a really great babysitter, so I'm able to go to work and make pretty good money. I don't know what I'd do without her actually, she takes the kids a lot of times when I'm just not up to it.
    Right now I feel pretty good, but it feels like I have all this stuff going on in the backgroun in my head if that makes any sense. I can be happy, but it's always there waiting and if I don't try really hard it takes over and I'm miserable again. It's so much easy to just let it happen. Being happy takes so much work.
    Yeah I'm a crazy person. It's ok.

  • I agree with the person above me. I have 4 small children and I am only 24. Having a family when you are young is tough. I have days when I cry when I open my eyes, just because I don't want to face the day. I'm not on medication, athough I have been told by everyone that loves me that I need to be. Do you work, or stay at home with your child? Because when I stayed home, I felt worse than I do now that I work all the time, and stay busy.

  • i completely understand what u mean. i suffer depression too, and also have a child. he is the only reason i'm still alive today. keep going to the doctor and switch meds, repeatedly if u have to. ur kids deserve to grow up w/ their mother around. no matter how hard it is, u need to live for them.

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