I'm in love, but...

I joined an erotic rp forum about two weeks ago or so, I can't remember. I had started role playing sexual fantasies and just enjoying writing and being pleasured that way for awhile.

And then I met -him-, he who managed to capture my heart.

I don't know anything about him IRL, but I love what I have known of him so far. He comforts me, seems to care about me, and he helps me when I am down and depressed. I look forward to coming online everyday and seeing little messages from him. But I don't know how old he is, what he does for a living, if he is single IRL or even married... I honestly don't know and part of me suspects he is taken IRL. I just suspect the worst in this situation, but... You know, I'm happy with what I have with him.

I haven't felt this way about another person in a long time. I can't stop thinking about him. I have fallen in love with this guy, and I dare not tell him my true feelings. The most I said to him is that 'I adore you,' and that is the closest thing I'll say to how I care about him.

But he has gotten me to not want to role play with anyone else, and I don't want to flirt or be with anyone else now. Even if I can't tell him just how much he means to me, I will treasure of what I have with him for now.

I love you, my sweet Blue. I wish our timezones were the same and that we could have more time together, but my thoughts are always with you. I wish I could tell you everything that is in my heart, but I don't want to ruin what we do have. I don't want to face the harsh reality.

Jun 12, 2011

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