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Burden.
It's hard...when you want to cry out for help, but you know there's people worse off then you. You don't want to seem a burden when you're the tower that holds everyone up. It's like that for me. All my friends have some sort of problem, and I'm there to help them. I hid myself behind a strange mask so people won't think much of me.
The truth is...
If I actually was who I was I think my friends would fall. I have suicidal thoughts everyday, but I don't want to cut myself. I'm fat and I look into a mirror and want to chop the fat off. I disgust myself. I'm perverted and weird and for once I just wish someone would look past that to see I'm a nice girl who just needs some attention. I hate ranting to others because I know people have it off worse but sometimes...I wonder what's really left for me here.
omg, i feel the exact same way, when it really gets to much i break down and try to talk to someone and they get all weirded out. it makes me want to talk to people even less.