Fantasizing About Young White Schlongs

I recently got hitched late last year to my Asian boyfriend of 5 years. We went to the same school as kids but did not meet again till we were in the mid-20s. He just got engaged when we first met again and he left her to be with me. As a couple, we went through a lot. We have lost a home, a family and two jobs between us. We were also constantly financially strained.

During the courtship, he had cheated on me many times. I had chanced upon his online social networking accounts on various sites a couple of times. I also stumbled other girls' numbers in his phone and some girls' blog on their wonderful boyfriend whom happened to be him. I don't really know how many he actually met or bedded but I know there were some whom he treated like a girlfriend although he was with me the entire time. These girls were clueless of my existence. Some thought he was holding some high-paying job, earning big bucks. He can be such a pathological liar, I find him lying about things he could just be truthful about like what he had for dinner.

He otherwise treated me really well. Always generous with his sweet words. Initially I thought I was the luckiest girl to have met him. No one would have suspected he was a j*** 'cause on the surface he looked like he worhips the ground I walk on. He got along really well with my family and friends. It was really not hard at all to like him. He was like the life of the party.

In spite of all the heartaches and sufferings I went through, I stayed by him through all ups and downs. I should have known better that if he had cheated for me, he would have cheated on me for other gals. But I was not quick to judge. He continued cheating on me but at the same time went through with the whole engagement and wedding.

Soon after we got married, I found out he was still living his double life. He was using my laptop! He was still not giving up being that online Romeo, sending gals all sorts of messages. His phone bill is always higher than mine in spite the fact that he hardly receives any calls or texts when we are together.

Because of all these, I feel like I could not trust him anymore. I brought it up to him that I wanted a divorce. He acted all sorry and begged me not to file for one and he would mend his ways. I mean if he still could not stay true after we are married, when will he, right? Should I wait till we build a home, have kids before I finally wake up and leave?

Since then he has been good (or maybe I haven't clued in yet) but I am starting to regret my marriage. Why did I not get out while I still can? Why did I not stay away when I knew he was engaged in the first place?

Before him, I used to date a lot of better guys in every sense of the word. I don't know why I still did not dump him for good after he hurt me the first time.

Because of my unhappiness, my mind starts to stray. I fantasize a lot about s** with younger men. Our s** life is average, he always makes me c** but most of the time it was always me who initiated the s**. Although we had s** before we were married, it was like once a week or so but I thought it was owing to the fact that we did not live together. The s** part still does not change till today.

I have a high s** drive. When he is out at work, I watch p*** and play with my toys. I fantasize about big d**** sliding into me. I always imagine like hot, young White males below 30 making out with me. I cannot stop thinking about it. Before I met him and was single, I was really having these sexy, young things pleasing me. I wish to relive those times, just that now I am somewhat an older woman in my early 30s. Most people think I look younger than my age though.

I do not wish to cheat on my husband and destroy the sacred of my marriage. But I yearn for a better s** life with my young White lover. Sometimes I find myself wishing he was dead so I could be back on the market again. I just want frequent hot s**, is that too much to ask for? Oh, I am Asian too by the way.

Jul 19, 2011

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  • I think you should leave him. Like you said, he has cheated on you before, who says he wont do it again? Plus i bet he has fantasized about white women too. And if you have thought about him being dead, it must mean you dont want him around much longer. It's a win win situation!

  • Hi, thank you for your kind words. I doubt he ever thought of white women, judging from the ones he cheated me with. He does not have a particular kind so long they give him plenty of attention. Sometimes I get really insulted with those he chose - dark, fat, ugly. I mean if he were to cheat on me over some hot chics, I would have rested my case.

    In the meantime, I'm on a prowl! ;)

  • Thank you for your comments. Very helpful indeed. :)

  • Blah blah blah, shut the f*** up already. Stop squinting and open your eyes

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