A death scare
Sometimes i daydream about getting hurt, hit by a car or something leaving me in a fatal state, just so i could see who would care.
I know it sounds horrible, but i cant help it. so many people ignore me, and put me down. It alwayse seems to be me that everyone decides 'doesnt matter' if they decide not to be there nice self towards. And no one has yet to prove me wrong.
I dream of hurting myself, or attempting suicide. I dream of getting hit by accident, and being in a hospital bed. I dream of the people who visit me. And i wish they would cry, or tell me there sorry. And then i wish i would die.
im a teenager, ive been diagnosed with depression and i have attempted different forms of self harm.
I know the system. and none of my words would help anyone around me. so i pretend im getting better. I want so desperstly to hurt, to die.. but i wont be any more selfish, so i lock it up. The thing is, no one actually cares. I know there all sick of me, and wish it would just end, as if it were something i could control.
Just once it would b nice for somone to notice me, think about me, and genuinly care. to understand? and have the advice i need. But know one has advice on this, its a feeling that can only be demolished by other feelings. Feelings i need help to get, feelings no one will share. not with me.