Lost
I just realized this morning that I am not a good person. I feel that my core is rotten. I've been lying, cheating and stealing since a very young age. I am greedy and egotistical. I am not happy with my life. I don't want to change though.
I love wine, **, travel. I am married to my third husband and for the first 6 years it was ok even though he relapsed on his crack addiction several times. We then stopped having ** and I was no longer physically attracted to him. He was unable to function in the bedroom. Pills didn't work. I began having affairs.
I should leave him but I don't want him to be sad. So I pretend like I am the perfect wife although I lead this secret life. I don't think I can ever be truly happy.
Why pretend to be the perfect wife when your husband is so awfully flawed? Keep up your affairs with other men but do so without that crack addict in your life.