I just realized this morning that I am not a good person. I feel that my core is rotten. I've been lying, cheating and stealing since a very young age. I am greedy and egotistical. I am not happy with my life. I don't want to change though.
I love wine, s**, travel. I am married to my third husband and for the first 6 years it was ok even though he relapsed on his crack addiction several times. We then stopped having s** and I was no longer physically attracted to him. He was unable to function in the bedroom. Pills didn't work. I began having affairs.
I should leave him but I don't want him to be sad. So I pretend like I am the perfect wife although I lead this secret life. I don't think I can ever be truly happy.