Sarah, I lied.
Your name was Sarah and we met at Hogs and Heifers this past Saturday the 27th. I told you I had recently been cheated on and dumped. (my girlfriend was just out of town). We went back to my place and you saw all of her stuff and I acted like I was so mad at her. (in reality, she would've been so mad at me). I stripped for you while you were still clothed because I said my ex-girlfriend never appreciated my body. (I knew I was better looking than most guys you hook up with, so I wanted you to enjoy it). At that point I knew I could do pretty much anything with you, so I did. Among other things: you licked my a******, you let me take pictures of you naked in full light, you let me use what you thought was my ex-girlfriend's vibrator on your own p**** and licked it off. Despite all of that, I ate you out and will admit you tasted as good as you claimed earlier in the night at H&H.
If there's any chance you end up reading this, then please give me a call because I will know you're as h**** a freak as I am. If you don't ever read this, I hope to run into you again one day because I did have fun this weekend.