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I masturbated as a 6 year old
When 6 years old or so, I remember hearing the word ** and suddenly it clicked, i did not knew exactly what it meant but i knew it had to do something with my **. as a child we had this neck massager and i remember holding it between my legs because i would like the nice feeling it would give me after some time. i only realized 4 years later that it was called an ** and i was masturbating, as a 6 year old. i remember my parents catching me do it me a couple times but not saying anything about it. i also remember i would get on top of my sister and try to reenact what i though ** was, she was 2 years younger than me. also i remember in 1st grade i went to my friend Emily's house and we took off our pants and showed each other our **, i was excited cause it was like i found someone like me. then her mom caught us an she got mad and said if we never did it again she would not tell my parents. it was a couple years later and i figured out what ** is. i remember searching it up on the computer and watching tutorials on it because i didnt know about ** yet. i remember in 3rd grade when we got our iPads from school i took pictures of my ** and **, my parents found out and saw the pictures and got mad and lectured me on it. also at this time i discovered Wattpad and started reading ** ** on it. i would read things from ** to omegaverse to ** slave turned lover stories. then i discovered pic collage. i dont know how it is now, but at that time pic collage was a lot like Instagram but instead of posting pics you post collages. i remember finding accounts that post litteral ** and i used to stalk those account and even watch them in school. they would post women with huge ** getting ** and a man shooting ** into the faces of many women. i even showed my friend named Aly this and we looked at it together in school. once me and my friend Sally got under the sheets and got naked from waist down. we would do things like ** each other and licking each others ** to kissing each other. we would do this all while there were other people in the room so we would do it under a blanket. she would also do things like putting her foot in my ** and i liked it. this wasn't a one time thing, we did this a lot, like every time we saw each other, which was hundreds of times and each time we saw each other we would do more and more inappropriate things. like i peed on her jacket once and she sniffed and licked it. in like 4th grade i was still reading fanfictions and ** and i talked to another friend name Chrissi about masturbating. i told her i do it with my massager an invited her over for a play date and i showed her. my sister was playing with her so me and Chrissi payed hided and seek with her. While my sister was finding us, i showed Chrissi how i masturbated. eventually i started tasting my ** and ** juices. i told Chrissi to taste her ** juices and then she invited me over for a play date. we looked at each other as we stuck a ** into our ** and licked our juices, it tasted weird. then i kind of grew out of that constant ** phase and entered middle school. i used another neck massager as my **. i remember sending people my nudes but anonymously because it would make me feel **. i would send people pics of my ** and ** and vids of me ** myself when i was in 7th grade. once i made the dangerous decision to send a random person my nudes with my face and im scared that she might release them, she might have deleted them because i threatened her by saying these are a minors nudes, but im still scared she might still have them, she was 15 years older than me and i am a minor and she was not. also at this time i got obsessed with catfishing people, i found it fun to catfish them and build an new reality for me. then in like 8th grade i found ** and would ** to it everyday after school, eventually i got online school cause of corona and i remember masturbating in class with my camera on as a challenge for my self. now im like ** up and have so many kinks, im a depressed teenager with anxiety who used to cut. i have no one to blame because of my problem, my parents are great and it was pure coincidence that i knew all this at such a young age. im sad that my innocence was taken away at such a young age. i also still talk to Aly, Chrissi, and Sally but we ignore what happened and pretend it never did happen. i kind of want to address what happened between us because i wish i could do it again. i don't regret anything that happened ever except for almost exposing my sister to this. i feel like when i grow up i will become a ** because of all that ive learned and ill want to experience it.
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