I am screwed, but not in the way I want.
My conscience killed my s** life. I have only slept with one woman and I started much later in life than most. I loved her deeply before I ever touched her but the relationship failed after several years.
I just cannot bring myself to lie to a woman, to say I love her when I don't. I can fantasize about s**, but to actually have s** with someone I don't love I know would make me feel empty as h***.
I went for a massage once and the girl offered me s** but I just could not do that to her even though she was really hot.
I am afraid if I never find love again I will never have s** again or if I do it will not bring me joy, mainly just getting off with someone I am not really connected too.
I have thought about just going out and jumping a few women to see if I can get passed this, as I am sure there are some who would be happy for something casual but it seems wrong.
So you see I am screwed.