I am screwed, but not in the way I want.

My conscience killed my s** life. I have only slept with one woman and I started much later in life than most. I loved her deeply before I ever touched her but the relationship failed after several years.

I just cannot bring myself to lie to a woman, to say I love her when I don't. I can fantasize about s**, but to actually have s** with someone I don't love I know would make me feel empty as h***.

I went for a massage once and the girl offered me s** but I just could not do that to her even though she was really hot.

I am afraid if I never find love again I will never have s** again or if I do it will not bring me joy, mainly just getting off with someone I am not really connected too.

I have thought about just going out and jumping a few women to see if I can get passed this, as I am sure there are some who would be happy for something casual but it seems wrong.

So you see I am screwed.


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  • I disagree. Random f**** are fun and can be harmless if you take the proper precautions. Get on that horse, cowboy.

  • Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing, or my overly sensitive nature but that is hard for me to do. Yes I have a d***, it gets hard and at times I think I will die if I don't saddle up and go for a long hard gallop.

    You know the song "the hip bone is connected to the leg bone etc". Well somehow my heart is connected to a different bone, or b****.

    Also I worry about catching an STD if I get around too much, or imagine getting someone I don't love pregnant, as condoms do fail sometimes. Do I really want to be tied to someone I am not connected with for the rest of my life. I want to make love, not have s**, there is a huge difference. I want more than just physical gratification, if it doesn't mean that much too you I understand, but it does to me.

  • Nothing wrong with you as far as I'm concerned - actually, I'm only sorry there aren't more considerate guys like you who don't think of women as objects!

    For what it's worth, I've only had s** with one person who I fell in love with first too, but you know what? I'm proud of myself for not just going out and f****** people for the sake of it. I think you should be as well. You sound like a good, honest guy who is caught between what you are and what you feel you "should" be.

    Gonna break it to you now ... there ARE NO "shoulds" that matter in this life. There is only what you've done, what you're doing now, and what you want to do from now on. It's got to be about YOU and not about other people. If you don't want to randomly f*** people because it seems wrong, then don't. If you want to wait for love before having s**, then do that. It's fine - in fact, I think it's great! Focus on increasing your chances of finding love first, by putting yourself out there and letting others know what you are really like as a person, and love might just follow. Nobody ain't ever found love by being scared and hiding away at home ... meet new people, mix with others who like what you like, and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!

  • Thanks for the support and I know what you are saying. I haven't been out there much it's just been a bad time with a broken heart,a job loss, one death in the family and another to follow. Once things improve I will make an effort.

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