I'm pathetic

I feel bad about it but I feel resentment mixed with regret when I see people who are in college or who have degrees, knowing that they went to college. Those who somehow were in a position in life that gave them that opportunity. I wish I had had that. It didn't come out that way for me because of how and where I grew up. I do understand I had a choice to do it too but what I mean is,at the time, I didn't understand the gravity of it and there was no one really around to impress upon me to do it- to help me understand how important it was. I just wonder why I wasn't enough for someone to encourage me for better things. As far as my mom was concerned, it was all about getting a 'good paying job' working at the factory. But I think I would have done wonders in college. I'm not dumb. I love to learn. I just wonder how different or how much better I could have made things for myself if I had been pushed towards that avenue rather than having nobody that really cared what happened to me. And I don't have the ability to do go to college now- because I don't even have a job. (Surprise.) Yeah- I know. Someone's going to read this and call me a loser. Well, all I can say is I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish someone had been there to care enough to guide me and encourage me and let me know what I needed to do. Instead, I wandered into marriage and kids and then ended up working s*** jobs to get by. And now I impress upon my kids how important it is. But because of my s*** jobs, I've never even had a chance to save up anything to help them get there. I feel like such a failure. I feel so let down. Because I'm not a nothing. I'm a very capable person who has been stuck in so many stupid situations. My life could have been so different. But I was a kid. What could I know? How come nobody ever gave a damn about me?

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  • There is much more to life than money. Sure, a job would help support your living but it won't bring you peace. Look, you seem to be mad at the fact that you don't have everything you want. Sometimes you can't get what you want and sometimes things just don't turn out the way you want them to but It's important to remember that life without money is still life but money without life is just paper and metal. There is a God whether you believe in him or not and he cares for your needs. If you would just give up your pride and follow him, he will supply all of your needs and give you true peace in Jesus Christ.

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