Nobody 'loves you' until you're gone
I seem to be a person no one has any problems taking their s*** out on. I was my mother's burden, my father's punching bag, the object of hatred for my ex husband, the one in a relationship who always got cheated on… I'm not a wastebasket. I'm not this inanimate object to dump s*** into. I am not a possession for you to say 'Oh good. You're with me now which means I have someone to take all my s***.' I'm not obligated to take all your s***. I'm a human being. I'm sorry for what happened to you in your life but I am not for you to treat like garbage. I didn't come to this earth for that. So yes, you'll excuse me if I excuse myself from having contact with you- any of you- for whom I am just SOOOO terrible and such a drag on. If I am of no good to you then there is no point in me hanging around. And what kills me is when I do take off, you all follow me and say 'Where are you going? What are you doing? Why aren't you here anymore?' Then you 'love' me. Then I 'matter' to you. But it's not that you love me, you're just concerned with not having someone to treat like s***. And some of you get offended that I don't acquiesce to being treated like s***. Like your mama told you you were something special or something. You're not. You just don't get to treat people that way, that's all. People AREN'T obligated to let you smear your s*** all over them. They can walk away from you anytime they want. And I do. If that's the type of person you want, that's the type of person you need to go out find because I'm not it- I'm not that person. And I'm not sorry about it either. You're just very misguided on how to treat someone. And damned if I'm going to hang around until you figure it out. It's my favorite saying: I'd rather be alone than in bad company.