My dark secrect part 1

I am scared of s**! To me when you have s** with someone you are the most vulnerable and i have not found the right person wherei can be that vulnerable. But then again how can i be that vulneable with them when I can't even be vulnerable with myself? The other reason is i am a control freak! i also have a temper! and with those two i dont want them to mix and go to far!