Just tell the truth
That i still love and want to know why you did what you did. you knew i was completely in love with you. you know that you shouldnt of done what you did because you are 34 years older than me. now everything is s***. i still love you and i dont know why, your a b******. your not classically handsome, your a gimp. yet i want you still. we never got to do the things we wanted to do cause we got found out. you smiled at me even though id just been selling you out. but you know i didnt want to. you know the hold you have on me. she said you never loved me. then why the h*** did you do? all i want to know is why you did what you did? just to play some stupid game, to achieve some sexual fantasy you had. or because you actually cared. i can argue both sides to myself but i want you to tell me. i want to talk to you. in the lowest moment i just want you to hug me. i want you to make me laugh. i think im depressed. i can laugh still but you ripped me to pieces. you know this, i wish i could talk to you without getting in trouble. i guess if you had loved me you would of tried to contact me. but you didnt. the amount of times i have cried over you. i bet you havent cried once. i just want to know whats going through your head, what were you thinking?! what did you feel afterwards? cause i was torn up. i still am. i want to have s** with you, hoping that this will let me move on. i think about finding you when im older. but i wouldnt know what your reaction would be. i want to see you again. i miss you. i dont even know why. cause lets face it you are useless. you were never there for me. we used to argue all the time. but i loved you more than anything. i was obsessed with you. and im not being funny but its not my fault, im not trying to punish you. you know that. admit that we kissed. admit that you held me. admit you touched me. admit that you know exactly what you did to me. help me. i want to know the truth.