Mustn't let them see me cry

Why? When I say that I can't remember, I can't! And yet they glare at me with a look that says they dont't believe me. My memories have gotten blurrier and blurrier, and I have to try even to remember the smallest thing and pull it out of that mass. Sometimes I am sure things are draining away, like when I am talking and suddenly I can't remember simple words, like and, to, for and things like that. Words everyone uses every day. However it's been getting worse for the last year, worse than it's been in the amount of time I can clearly remember. The memories I know I didn't make to fill the gaps.Because I do that too. You can't understand how wrong it feels to be missing bits, or how easy it is to cover them over.I wan't to cry so much, but for some reason it seems wrong, forbidden for this little girl to cry. WHY? i only want them to care more about me than my grades. I don't want to be alone. Is that so wrong? For my family to love me? WHY?

Report this


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • I could only do that by the grace of God...there would be no other way. Thank you Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit for sustaining this man in extreme trial. May he be blessed forever for his testimony. And thank you for posting - a ray of light in a dark dark world.

  • There was this story that I heard at school. We were watching a film about a survivor of the Holocaust. He was saying about how he was in a concentration camp with his family. He saw his family murdered right in front of his eyes. The N*** solders came up to him and they beat him, spit on him and stripped him naked. He looked at them and smiled. They were astonished and said "Why are you smiling? We just killed your family." He replied "You can take my family away from me and my dignity but you can't take away my choice to smile."

    Choose to smile and be happy. No matter how much you want to break out in anger or sadness, just let it go and be happy. Life is so hard already without all of the pain that we put ourselves through.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?