I had the biggest girl-crush on you.

I'm not gay. I'm completely straight, but I had the biggest girl-crush on you. For those of you who don't know what a girl crush is, it's when you find a girl that you completely admire, and instantly wanna be friends with them. Yeah, K. That was you. I know we're a grade apart, but when I mustered up the courage to actually SPEAK to you. That was awesome. All was going well too. We seemed to have connected so well. I thought we could have been friends. Maybe we still can be, but not with the way I feel right now. I feel like you've hurt me. I mean, if me always talking to you was annoying, why didn't you just tell me? It's not fully your fault though. I'm having some issues that I'm dealing with as well. I lost my bff, (she didn't die, she transferred schools) and I feel quite lonely in school sometimes. I'm so embarrassed to be seen alone. I'm so afraid that the other kids will think I'm a loner, and I really don't want that. All together, I feel vulnerable. And I guess I tried to put all of that into our "friendship" and you weren't for all of that. I understand. I also put you on such a high pedestal. I completely dehumanized you, and turned you into some sort of god. I was so fascinated with you because I thought you were so different. Sure you were popular in school, but for all of the right reasons. You're smart, and so nice and you deserve it. But yeah, you totally hurt me, K. But in such the nicest way, I'm not even sure if I have the right to harbor any ill feelings towards you. I'll never talk to you again though, and not because I'm angry at you.Okay, that's PART of the reason. But not a big part. I've gotta work on myself too. And obsessing over you won't help at all. It was fun talking to you though, K. Fun while it lasted.

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