Self damage

I pick my skin. i pick my skin on my face, and my legs. i have depression and an anxiety disorder, and i am so ashamed. i'm a 16 year old girl. i don't know why i do it, it's just, i feel like i have to constantly punish myself- like i deserve the pain I put myself through every night before I brush my teeth. it's like a poison. i have tried so hard to stop, but it's almost like there's a power inside me- greater than any willpower- that tells me that it's ok. i've been through a lot of bullying and hardships at home, and i do go to therapy, but it still doesn't help. my parents don't know i do it. the only person i have ever told is my therapist. i know it will scar my face, i know i will bleed, and i know the feeling of shame after i do it, but it still happens. sometimes after i have a session of picking i cry, and make myself stare at all the irritation, and red blotches on my skin. but the desire is like a disease that will never go away. sometimes i will pick for 30 minutes at the bathroom mirror, and desire the feeling of pressure release when I pop a pimple. it's instant gratification for me. but i know i'm doing it... i just can't stop.

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  • The answer to why you do it is because you are at lower level of consciousness and this streams constant negative energy into your being, that's why it is greater than your willpower. You want to do good and stop but you cant because the negative energy is constantly streaming into you. You have to raise your level of consciousness in order to stop the negativity. To find out more answers about this read Power vs Force by David R Hawkins, M.D.,Ph.D.

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