I want to be stronger but you make it difficult

Sometimes I want to be at my best but you pretty much put me into the mindset of contradictory thoughts. That I can be fantastic but that I am empty and nothing. I can't help but think that sometimes you're doing this on purpose to break me or get me to think that I am horrible. I've never thought I was such a horrible person but you've made me seen the light. I have seen it, acknowledged it, and now I'm taking steps to improve myself.