Using other people to vent
I was once with this guy. and for a while we were really happy. one day we went out for a fun might with his friends and one of them was pretty attractive. we talked(in a group)and we hit it off. nothing ever happened. because i was happy. someone once mentioned we flirted a lil but that was it. fast forward a year later.
me and the boyfriend have broken up. but all three of us work together. the two guys are friends still but not terribly close. the attraction for the other boy had is stronger now. when we talk there something but i'm either off limits or he's not that bothered.
one night me and a friend go out. we see him. he'd slept with her before but never they progressed further.we both get a text off him telling us there's a party at his. we bring another co-worker with us who he didn't want to come. he kissed me earlier in the night even though he has a girlfriend.
at the party i start fooling around with the the other co-worker. and then my friend she joins us. this is the room of the guy i actually like. i know he's p***** off but then i don't care cos at some stage during the night he asked me if my friend would sleep with him again. i smiled and said yes. i wanted to hit him.
after all this happened it hits me that i essentially used two people out of jealousy. i disgust myself. i apologise to everyone. they forgive me.
me, my friend and the boy all sleep in his bed. just sleep. my friend in the middle he wraps his arm around her. i wake up 1st. i leave a note telling him i'm sorry and that i like him but it f***** anyways. i throw it under the bed and leave.
now he's hot and cold with me. will talk to me in a group and i swear i can tell he's attracted to me but then when we're alone he's distant and won't look at me.
there's no point is there? i've f***** everything up so completely and even if i didn't he'll never want me anyway.