Confusing sexual experience
I have a lot of male friends in a tomboy kind of way. My best friend is a boy who in the past I'd have trusted with my life. Anyway, we went to this party and both of us were really drunk. We ended up piling into a big double bed with another of my friends, to sleep, just sleep. I never considered our relationship to have any kind of sexual undertones, so I thought this was a perfectly normal situation. However, I woke up at 6am to discover he was fingering me. Whilst I was asleep!!! I'd been having a pretty raunchy dream as a result of this, and I kind of imagine I'd been unconsciously responding positively to all this. Anyway. Then a the other friend in the bed woke up and we got on with our hungover day. He later said to me 'I'm really sorry, I was so drunk, let's never speak about this again.' I said 'Yes OK'.
But I feel as though our friendship has been destroyed. It was such a disrespectful act! He has violated my trust and made me feel like a s***. I wish I had a time machine and could undo this totally disturbing experience. I probably led him on or something, and in a way I now want more than a friendship, just so I can salvage our relationship, but he has a girlfriend AND I don't actually want to be more than friends.
How, how, how could he do this to me! My best friend. Ladies, never sleep in a bed with a man that you think is just your friend. No good will come of it.