Confusing sexual experience

I have a lot of male friends in a tomboy kind of way. My best friend is a boy who in the past I'd have trusted with my life. Anyway, we went to this party and both of us were really drunk. We ended up piling into a big double bed with another of my friends, to sleep, just sleep. I never considered our relationship to have any kind of sexual undertones, so I thought this was a perfectly normal situation. However, I woke up at 6am to discover he was fingering me. Whilst I was asleep!!! I'd been having a pretty raunchy dream as a result of this, and I kind of imagine I'd been unconsciously responding positively to all this. Anyway. Then a the other friend in the bed woke up and we got on with our hungover day. He later said to me 'I'm really sorry, I was so drunk, let's never speak about this again.' I said 'Yes OK'.

But I feel as though our friendship has been destroyed. It was such a disrespectful act! He has violated my trust and made me feel like a s***. I wish I had a time machine and could undo this totally disturbing experience. I probably led him on or something, and in a way I now want more than a friendship, just so I can salvage our relationship, but he has a girlfriend AND I don't actually want to be more than friends.

How, how, how could he do this to me! My best friend. Ladies, never sleep in a bed with a man that you think is just your friend. No good will come of it.


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  • He had no right to touch you. You can flirt all you want, but until you say "yes," (not stoned or drunk) I has no right to lay a finger on you.
    He's an a-hole. Stay away.

  • rape is any kind of f****** without adult consent or are you trying to say f************ a child won't land you in jail... i'm pretty sure it would friend...

  • She was NOT raped, for crissake. It may be said she was unfairly taken advantage of by a fellow shitfaced drunk. Rape is intercourse, not finger f******.

    Two pieces of advice:
    1. never drink again if you want to stay in control of yourself and your situation.
    2. your quick exit from your best friend relationship when the perp sounds truly contrite (YOUR description of his apology) tells me you cannot forgive. learn how to reconcile and forgive, if someone is worth keeping. otherwise, walk away and never bring it up again.

  • Girls let guys goe too far. What he did was obviously rape. Why don't Girls take this stuff seriously anymore? How could you lead him on if you're asleep?

  • i'm sorry that had to happen to you and i appologise for my gender but what he did was rape even if he was drunk even if you did lead him on is there anyway i could help you through your thoughts...

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