What I thought

I was planing on cheating on my boyfriend this coming summer. But the other man,J, didn't talk to me for a week then I heard he was ** about me texting him. So last night I sent him a text asking if it was true all he told me was "sorry for bursting your bubble". I told him that I wanted to talk to him in class. But he didn't sit next to me. Now I want to die. I feel like **. I hate what I have done to my boyfriend. I feel so unwanted. The worst part is j had told me that he loved me. No one will every love me. All I am is a body to **. I want to kill myself but I can't pull the trigger. My life is over. All I can think about is my sleeping pills I have 20 of them in my hand. Should I do it? It would end my pain. But I would never feel j's body on me. I would never be able to be kissed agean. Is it worth it. I think I will choose death over this un dying pain. Goodbye crule world. I hope you feel some pain when I am gone j. I am sorry. I love both of you. This will be my last night on this earth. I hope you think of me. I hope this makes you cry. One teair will satisfie me. Please. I confess

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