If this doesn't work out, i might kill myself
Everything i worked for might be taken away from me in the next 2 weeks. my entire life has been devoted to school. i'm in a phd program now, and my parents, my friends, and the rest of my family expect me to graduate and do amazing things with my life. but my 2nd year paper didn't turn out so well, and now i have to convince the faculty to let me stay next year. if i can't convince them, they won't let me stay and i'll have nothing left.
my parents invested thousands of dollars into my education, and if i get kicked out of this program, all of that will have been wasted. i'll be an unemployed 25 year old with no savings and no prospects. i'll have to move back home. i might not even be able to keep the cats i adopted last year and adore, since my parents can't have cats in their apartment.
i've been working on a plan to revise my paper since friday (it's now monday afternoon). i've sunk 22 hours into it so far, and i plan to sink another 6 hours into it before i meet with my advisor tomorrow. i've never wanted anything more than this.
i'm so stressed out about this that i can barely eat. i think i've lost 5 pounds since friday.
if this doesn't work out, i'll have nothing left to live for. i'll have failed everyone.