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I hate being a parent
I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent.
I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate changing diapers. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play.
I hate being trapped in ** broiling desert, backwards ** Arizona, just because a job pays well enough to support four kids and moving would mean working for about 1/2 the pay. I've wasted a third of my life in this ** place because I can't afford to move because of these kids. I hate having to keep a close watch over my kids because I live in a ** huge beige and cement city...the more people there are, the more sick ** you gotta worry about taking kids.
I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets.
The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. Should have just said "no ** way" to the wife after the first two. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two.
I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. **, I've gotta get up in 3 1/2 hours to take the older ones to school.
The brief moments of "oh, that's cute" are far overshadowed by the sheer level of ** I hate about parenthood. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18.
And to top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years (moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage)?
Why even bother typing this up? I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible (and almost caring) parent. I've been living the lie for years.
I can definitely relate. Although, when I feel helpless, reading that other people feel the same thing vents some the pressure. Ads 1 to the "days since meltdown" clock. I love my kids, I like my kids (mostly). I love my wife, I like my wife (mostly). But I can't help missing a life that was 'mine'. My life isn't mine now, whether the sense of time (life) or the sense of vitality (life). It belongs to three (soon to be four) other people that bleed it off slowly. My time isn't mine, my money isn't mine, it's theirs. My energy is theirs, my property is basically theirs. I'll never get it back. I can't leave them and wouldn't want to do that to them. I can't imagine a scenario where I would still be with their mother after 9 years. I love her but they kept me coming back. I can't stand the idea of another man having any say. She would consider it an affront to God to admit, but I know it drains her as well. I wouldn't change it and not have them exist, but I've traded my life for theirs and I mourn it's passing regularly. I could be within months of having enough passive income to travel the world. Not a fortune but enough for me to get by on my own. Forget that. I could have $10k a month coming in and it still wouldn't be appropriate for me to live for myself and have any semblance of that precious commodity, freedom. There certainly is a magic to it, and it isn't hard to imagine being equally or more miserable single. I love my mom and brother and sisters but don't have to be responsible to or for them every hour of every day for the rest of my life. They give life back to me, and I don't mind when they take. But my cohabitors drain my life gluttonously. I pay all the money and stress to the world then have to answer to them. Lucky for love, whether it's God himself or a chemical cocktail that defies logical responses to aid reproduction. Otherwise, I'd be out. Wonder if mom felt the same way.
Hey buddy, there's one thing you said: 'There certainly is a magic to it, and it isn't hard to imagine being equally or more miserable single.'
Maybe that's where to try and put your focus, and to remember that perhaps things on the other side of the fence might not be so great as you sometimes imagine.
I'm not a dad yet but I know that I feel regret sometimes that it hasn't happened for my wife and I and maybe you'd feel the same if you hadn't had kids at all? Friends of ours have driven themselves to almost suicide because they struggled to have kids and they would always look at those with children and build up in their minds the perceived wonders of parenthood whilst missing the wonders they had, right there, in their freedom.
What I'm trying to say is that life makes us feel regret and longing for whatever we perceive to be on the other side of the fence. The fiction the mind builds of the life we aren't living is enough to drive anyone crazy if you look at it long enough and sometimes it can be helpful to remember how you might REALLY feel if you were actually to live that other life, with all of its own problems and heartache.
All the best
Hmmm, below is a mother who've struggled to conceive, she has twins and regrets it but plasters on a false facade.
Being a parent isnt fun. But someone has to do it. And my kids pretty funny when she's not being a ** so that's cool. A lot of these people aren't even trying to find the good
No, actually, someone doesn't HAVE to do it. This is simply the life script you adhere to. Not one person could breed on this earth for 40 years or more and we'd all be just fine. Saying that someone HAS to make their life ** to continue on a species that has over 7.5 billion members is just retarded. No, YOU felt like that's what society expects so you bred. Congratufuckinglations but I'll enjoy my time my money and my freedom living my life for ME.
You don't want this life. I promise. People have all sorts of ideas about being a parent... Sharing your thoughts and dreams with a smaller version of yourself. It's highly romantic, isn't it?
Kids are a life drain, they bleed you dry until you are devoid of happiness and any semblance of your former self.
I am so incredibly happy when I'm alone, in my car, at the store, literally anywhere. I get anxiety when I have to come home to them.
It's horrible. Don't fall for it.
This was very beautifully written I know my husband would write the same thing and so would I. Thank you for sharing.
I feel that way sometimes in moments of frustration. Some days are unbearable! I also have 4, and our lives are very busy...it would be nice to have an outlet occasionally. Between a full-time job and 4 kids, my husband and I barely speak anymore...we don't even share the same bed. There are times when I feel like I was not cut out to be a mom, but then I look at what happy and wonderful people our kids are turning and realize we are doing a great job! We are often ** ourselves and have selfish thoughts. But at the end of the day, we knew what we were sacrificing to become parents. It is all worth it to me, and I'm sure it is to you too. Give yourself some credit! You will be just fine! Best of luck.
Will it be worth it when your own flesh and blood will grow tired and don't want to put up with you in your elderly years, place you in an old people's home, steal your money and sucking up to you for your will? Leeching off from you? Worth it dear? I've seen it. Doesn't look worth it...AT ALL, pass!!!
Omg stfu judgy Judy.
Hmmm looks like I've struck a nerve. GOOD! Get out of your feelings. If the truth hurts you THAT much, wow it amazes me you bred. Hahaaa Fool. Judge Judy teaches idiots common sense and you failed to accept the truth. Glad I got your attention. Not my fault you're trapped raising lil bastards you regret having. Teehee! Smooches!
I don't care abt your lil bastards. How about that? Prepare them well for the future. It's becoming dreadful day by day...😉
Nah I'm gonna keep talking. I always get the last word. You just can't handle the truth. How you like me now?
Nahhhh. Truth hurts. Concede breeder.
I'm going to go Judge Judy on this, I don't sympathize for people whom DELIBERATELY brought forth children, regret, complain and want me to actually feel sorry for them. Really? How selfish can you idiots possibly be? And you decided to have FOUR. Moron. Keep busy so you won't have anymore. Too bad you're not Superman to reverse time, you just weren't thinking. Simple as that. Goodbye!
You're an **.
HEY!!! Donkeys are cute! With the big long ears they have. But my ** is huge though.
Actually, having children is pretty selfish. It's the desire to have a "mini me". It's mostly women that want children. They get to focus their time and energy on playing mommy and the husband just turns into a tool to those ends. When a woman "convinces" a man to become a parent when he's really not that into it, she is the most selfish living thing in the universe BY FAR
Exactly. They have nothing else to do. How sad. No sympathy here. Except for the party that's trapped but then again, shouldn't have had **.
Unlike you idiots, whom somehow felt at gunpoint and forced to give birth, I'm smart enough NOT to be in such hellish situations...abortion. Not dragging a lil parasite around me. I'd kill it. My temper is triggered easily. Slowing me down and ruining my dreams, body, money AND sleep. But-byeeeeee!
That's why a LOT of fathers cheat and vent to childfree women. Ewwwww but goodness so many regretful stories. " I love her, she's the mother of my kid but I never wanted the kid" or " we have ** but I wish I never married her and had a baby. I love my kids blah blah blah..." my cue to communicate but leave forever cuz single fathers are a no go. Glad to play therapist but whoa...
A lot of men must've liked this. Nicely put. The husband is third wheel or second priority. That's why I put my attention on my man and of course others, but him mainly because he's been hurt before by a single mother...she cheated.
What about the reverse?
Apparently there's a 2000 character limit, so I had to post my comment in 3 parts. Read them in order, I labeled them
(Part 3) - The only thing worse than having to raise kids would be raising them poorly and sending 4 criminals out into the world; all of which having the ability to multiply themselves and starting a whole exponential lineage of ** people. The human race depends on you now, and they are YOUR mistakes and therefore YOUR responsibility. It's a hard pill to swallow. But a little easier to swallow with a tall glass of beer, lol
Stay strong brother, I'm right there by your side in spirit. I feel you 100%
Check out Louie C.K. - Live at Becon Theater. He talks about how ** having kids are a lot, but in an absolutely hilarious way. It's on Netflix or you can just Google it. Stand up comedy in general really helps me get through it all.
You're a hero in my eyes brother. I have nothing but love for you.
Check out Michael McIntyre, he talks about how people without kids have no idea. I've always known.
(Part 2) - It's been 11 years now and it hasn't gotten any better. But I hope you find some comfort in this response. I know what it's like having these feelings and not being able to talk about them. It seems like NO ONE understands. Everone looks at you with disgust if you bring up anything remotely negative about being a parent. And I feel like I'm a bad person for the way I feel. I've tried therapy, but it didn't work.
You're a great man for sticking it out, brother. I can't express how much of a relief it is to hear that someone has the same feelings as me about being a parent. I really suggest - and this is going to sound horrible, I know - but I really do suggest you try to take a shot of alcohol when these feelings get overwhelming. If you can deal with 4 dream killers running around, you can definitely deal with a nasty taste in your mouth for a minute. When times are really tough I'll take a pain killer. That's the best way I've found to handle it. Both of these options really take the edge off and makes it easier to act like your happy to be around them. Remember, they didn't ** your wife, you did. It's not their fault they were born. Just don't become a drunk or a druggy and ruin their life that way either.
Dream killers. Awesome! I know they are and I don't and will never procreate any.
(Part 1) - You're not alone, bro. My heart bleeds for you. I never even dreamed of having children at any point in my life, but sure as ** I got a girl pregnant at 17, and it's everything I though it would be. I regret it every day of my life. All I wanted to do was spend my 20's back packing around the world. Now I'm 30 and that dream is long gone. All I can do is think about what could have been.
I stuck around because it's not her fault and I don't want her growing up with daddy issues. I put on a smile and give her big hugs and do things with her, but it takes a lot out of me to put on such a facade. It's not her fault I ** up when I was a teenager. But I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. Sometimes I wish I would have chosen not to be there at all and just pay my monthly fee - I mean child support. She's actually a really good kid. She deserves a loving father. I worry she's going to see through my acting one day and it's going to break her heart. And I only have to see her every other weekend.
Love how you owned up to your unplanned mistakes bruh.
If Tori Spelling is on here, all I can say is, ** you deserved it, weak sauce. Disgusting cow
I'm 29, living on my own, an only child thank God mom had miscarriages, she actually listened, parents decide to give me life, I'm grateful and I love them BUT I don't owe them anything. Old people annoy me. So I'm not going to have them leaving with me. They did a good job. Plus I live in a different country and partial misanthropic. So if they think that I'd take care for them as they age, think again. I feel sorry for large families.
I don't feel sorry for miscarried women, could be a blessing or you deserve it. Hence why parents on here complain and whine. See ya!
As selfish and heartless as this person sounds I have to agree. People don't ask to be born and should not be expected to take care of aging parents. Another of the many wrong reasons to have children.
Yup. I know I'm right. Proud of it. Duh!
They won't listen. Just continue to ** and moan as if anyone is listening. Learn things the hard way and it didn't have to be hard. Yeah I cared enough to comment as anyone on here but I really can careless about these parents problems. They did it to themselves. Enjoy the pregnancies and the gross ** during that "sacred time" hope then lil ** gets miscarried or stillborn. Parents make me sick. Only several I actually love. Babies are a sack of potatoes that are unimportant to others. Not cute. Ciao dolls!
Um I deserve to be selfish just like these parents here and my parents. Love em but not my responsibility to care for them as they age, that's why they have each other. Heartless, I already know, I am misanthropic. Duh. They did their job and I'll do mine 😏
Wow, what an ** you are. You feel zero responsibility to your parents as they age?! I simply can't comprehend that attitude. To reiterate, if I hadn't made my opinion clear, what a total ** you are. This may sound harsh, so please don't take it the wrong way but, you probably should not have been born.
Thank you!!! Then I wouldn't care. Are you breeders that dense or choose to look the other way or just incredibly doltish? Get real.
Partial misanthropic? More like psychopathic. It sounds like you'd be perfectly happy grinding your parents into cat food were that an option. You're going to have a lot of trouble living with yourself when you get old. Maybe you've already thought of that and have decided to kill yourself before then. I would highly recommend that option. In such case, the world would be better off without you because you sound like a real piece of **.
You’re a horrible **
It's selfish if your kids hate their own life and commit suicide, thus your problems would be solved. Selfish parents have kids for THEIR own wants. "YAY we're pregnant, I can't wait to meet him/her! It's gonna take care of us when we age" Baby arrives, ** breaks loose, baby grows up, develops mentality and emotions, speech. Scenarios: 1) kid dies from cancer, in a car accident, goes missing, whatever... 2) reaches adolescence and ends up hating the parents, going to therapy, parents ignores the kids real issue but diagnosed it as ADD or some ** so they won't discipline it, the kid uses them as walking ATMs, possibly plotting to kill them in their sleep; moves out and far away, disowning the parents, knocking up some trashy **, and YOU have to deal with his or her child, worth it? 3) kid commits mass murder or suicide, abuses the parents in his/her old age or abandons them at a old ppl home 4) parents are saddened and disappointed, "we didn't know, we did what we could, we thought he/she was happy--waaahhhh!" Well it WAS all about YOUR wants that never benefit the child. Enjoy the consistent stress.
LOL no one likes because they know it's a plausible truth. They ain't worth jack **!
What the ** are you even talking about dumb **
You know exactly. Too much for your breeder mindset? No surprise there. You're just selfish. Awww throwing insults because I struck a nerve eh? Typical coming from someone like you. Life ain't that hard...oops you have a kid, never mind.
I'm not alone love my kid but geesh!
I feel the exact same way-i feel like i have to love the kids theyre my responsibility but i hate it--id rather die than be a full time mom they deserve someone has desire for it--i have NONE WHAT SO EVER im soo sorry i didnt get an abortion i want my old life back-i hate this-i feel so bad &guilty but i HATE HATE HATE being a mom
Here we go again...another wishing for death. Stop playing victim. But **
Ok Casey Anthony... and other losers liking. So dense. Enjoy your ** on earth. Try not to commit a mercy murder suicide
I'm a single mother and, although I don't hate being a parent, if I knew the strife that awaited me, I would not have had a child.
My husband and I were in love, married at 22, had the white picket fence house, dog, etc. and everything seemed perfect for a while. We had our baby daughter when I was 24. Well, when my husband hit his 30s, he decided to go into an identity crisis, spend through our money on cars and other toys for himself, while becoming increasingly aloof to the family. He also lost his job and developed a victimized mentality. It wasn't long thereafter when he started preying on younger women and having affairs. We divorced when we were 34.
I'm now 37 and raising a child on my own. I have always worked, but don't make a great salary ($28K). My ex has never paid child support. It is paycheck to paycheck, in terms of finances. I've tried dating a little, but the very few guys who seemed to be contenders didn't like that I had "baggage."
I love my daughter. I don't hate being a parent, but I wish that I had not brought her into the world of difficulty that we experience daily. Of course, I didn't know it was going to be this way at the time. Hindsight is 20/20. I just wish that life was not so much of a daily battle. Having a child makes it more challenging, but not worse. We'll get through it together, and be stronger for it.
Sweetheart...the future is getting worse day by day. Christ foreshadowed it. Let's hope the purge doesn't commence. Soon ID or tracking chips will be inserted into our skin worldwide, maybe, idk...look out.
WTF do you think a cellphone is bud? Same chip, just not in your skin. Sure you can leave it home, but let's be real here.
Calm TF down breeder. You mad? LOL
Let's be real and look at the real picture, End of Times; yet you focused on something trivial: tracking devices. I said "maybe, Idk" you breeders sure are dim. I'd be worried too, if I have to constantly stress and worry about my child, KNOWINGLY that I brought forth to this horrid world and it's getting worse day by day. How's that going so far?
I'm a father of one, it ** most of the time, but it's manageable and I love the little rascal. My wife, mother, and mother-in-law keep pressuring me to have another one. I've made it very clear to my wife I will absolutely not have another child. I work and make good money only to spend it all saving for private school, healthcare, trips to the grandparents, etc. While my wife stays at home, by the time I get back from work, she's so tired of dealing with our child that she has no patience for me, we can't even have a conversation. ** life is in the gutter, and she says she wants 2 more. I love her, but her need to have another child borders on insanity. I will gladly pay child support if it comes to that, I don't understand people who have more than two kids then find out they hate it, I knew after the first one, I can see maybe having two, but three or four? WTF is this the 1700s? Unless I was making a baseball team or needed them to work on the field, I think 2 is more than enough.
I agree, one is MORE than enough. I don't get these bitchy women who can't handle one kid and harp about more? Wtf for??? Kudus to you for knowing your limit and standing your ground!
Buy her birth control pills bruh. TELL HER!!!!
Vasectomy in case she sabotages birth control / pokes holes in condoms
I wish I could be Mary Sunshine and tell you that it gets better (that's what they told me when I was a young father; "fake it till you make it!" they said.) That's how I wound up with two more. IT DOESN'T GET BETTER! I have great kids; healthy, smart , and reasonably well-behaved, but for me it sucked all the way through. The kicker is, that now that I have my life back, I've lost interest in the things I thought I couldn't wait for. I'm equal parts remorseful that I didn't make better memories with my kids, and resentful that my life is over and I never got to live it for me. Now the grandkids are arriving and I'm not finding joy in them (I really **). Cut your losses! Divorce the baby factory, pay your child support and find what makes you happy. Your kids know if you're miserable and whether it's because of them or not, they always blame themselves. It's better to have a parent missing from your life than to grow up feeling like the obstacle between your parent and their happiness.
Dude! You are awesome. I love this line, "Your kids know if you're miserable and whether it's because of them or not, they always blame themselves." I'm on my way to the courthouse now.
PffftHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Dude seriously?! Oh wow that made my day. Should've abort and PROBLEMS solved
You're selfish either way. Haaaaaa!!! You have a point though. That's why so many dads abandon their families, it's too much. LOL poor mums, should've COMMUNICATE and listened and not trap a guy.