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I hate being a parent
I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent.
I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate changing diapers. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play.
I hate being trapped in ** broiling desert, backwards ** Arizona, just because a job pays well enough to support four kids and moving would mean working for about 1/2 the pay. I've wasted a third of my life in this ** place because I can't afford to move because of these kids. I hate having to keep a close watch over my kids because I live in a ** huge beige and cement city...the more people there are, the more sick ** you gotta worry about taking kids.
I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets.
The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. Should have just said "no ** way" to the wife after the first two. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two.
I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. **, I've gotta get up in 3 1/2 hours to take the older ones to school.
The brief moments of "oh, that's cute" are far overshadowed by the sheer level of ** I hate about parenthood. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18.
And to top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years (moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage)?
Why even bother typing this up? I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible (and almost caring) parent. I've been living the lie for years.
I turn 44 this month and my husband and I have two boys 15 and 17. I love them, but they are at that hormonal, crazy age, and it drives me crazy. I feel like I'm working as a part-time detective, to make sure they are not skipping class, doing drugs, attending parties, or ** girls. They both are having trouble with their grades and have become rather defiant in some ways that kind of ** me off. I have done my best to teach them good morals, but the bad influences around them are substantial. The area in which we live is urban and is not the best area, but it isn't the ghetto either. They are also becoming really expensive to maintain. They both play sports, burn a lot of calories, and the amount of food that they eat ** near puts us in the poor house. I can't believe our grocery bill every month.
I'm hoping in a few years that they will have the grades and self-discipline to go to college and make something of themselves. As it stands, I'm starting to wear out. If I had it to do over again, I'd think twice about having kids.
There's a slight chance they won't but keep up what you can do.
How can you NOT see the possibility of this coming? It's ALWAYS safe to not procreate. There's only a slim chance you have, which I've witnessed, well-mannered children, but those are very very slim my friend. Discipline plays an excellent roll. Make them get jobs...
You probably won't see this since it has been almost 5 yrs., but I have six kids and many times I regret having the last two. All of them are with my husband, but when you get older you are just more tired. I had loads of time on my hands and I was healthy when I decided that I wanted two more. Now I'm not as healthy and when you get older it just isn't the same. I love them and they do the cutest things sometimes and I think they are just perfect, it is just that sometimes I wonder what I was thinking. I have 15 yrs. till all of mine are old enough to leave and I'll be nearly sixty then. It kind of depresses me. But not as much as it seems to depress you. Good luck
Why are the non parents so angry? It sounds like they are here to say "I told you so," or it's the same person posting angry and "I knew it" type comments over and over. I'm child free but I don't take any pleasure in seeing parents who are sleepless or suffering. Why mock them? I think some people come here because they probably were not able to find someone to have children with or maybe for health reasons they couldn't, so now they write harsh comments to parents to prove a point. The parents here are regretful but some of the child free people seem bitter or maybe they are childless not out of choice.
I agree, I think that's what's happening too. The same bitter person(s) gloating over and over. I guess if they type it here enough times they may begin to believe it.
My comment is WAY down there from months ago with a lot of likes. And I've been believing it. I'm sure you have that issue. I don't get girls preggo. Ew.
Hello. Let me state that I'm a proud childfree by CHOICE, 32 yo man. 1) For a "childfree" person such as yourself and claim to be, why would you insist on calling the gloating childfree (probably not, I don't know) as "non-parents"? I am a parent to my pets and play parents with my niece and nephews. You, a "childfree" person calling or marginalizing other childfree people as "non-parents" as if you're insinuating we're all meant to be parents. Here's the bad news sir or ma'am...not everyone wants kids. You're practically calling yourself a non-parent; childLESS. Childfree isn't a bad word, ok? My life isn't less of wanting a child, trust me on that. I have nuturing traits for those I love. Maybe you're the one on the fence of wanting a child but couldn't. Did YOU suffer a miscarriage or some **? Usually such venom is reserved for deflecting feelings of envy. Us real childfree don't want the demand of parenthood, I give the parents on here props but it'd bea LOT helpful in real life! I'm not a boastful person because things backfire on me, c'est la vie hehe. I do sympathize for the parents on here, and honestly, sorry to hurt some of you, but some of these comments from parents are utterly absurd and inane for procreating children, I mean seriously. I'M not angry for CHOOSING the life I wanted and continue to keep it that way, bitter? me? There's no reason to, I got myself fixed years ago, so no health or infertility issues here, life's swell! Christ is Love!!! So do NOT associate me with the gloating childfree lady/guy. 2) Why does it bother you so much whether a person is gloating or not? Yeah, I get it, it can be annoying---but you're entertaining that person/people. They'll eventually get bored and tired. I refuse to waste my time disparage or lecture someone/people like that, yet I'm referring to them now ha! You just possibly stirred up their pot. I agree, I wish I could just hug for these regretful parents, and I wish you all well. Not finish--
3) It's refreshing to hear from parents breaking free from the bandwagon pretending parenthood is the best thing ever; everyone has their own happiness. I love how you parents on here are honest, get all that ** of your chests! It's a great deal of pressure for you parents. Whew!!! T the person/people gloating, I get it, it's condescending whenever boastful parents state how they pity us and forget it's a choice. I just hope those fake parents are on here tbh, then the "I told you so's" are applied, but to the parents on here venting in tears and rage, I'm sorry for the ** you seem to be in, it gets better, I pray it does. 4) People like to gloat, who doesn't?! it's what they're proud of but I believe in a cocky way. Kids gloat all the time, "Look ma I found a puppy!", "Hey guys my mom made cookies and I helped" or "I'm pregnant!" just ignore them. I apologize for being or seeming like a **, then again, I'm not, because I'm explaining MY 2 cents. Sometimes the "I told you so's" are on point but still...not wanted, again, sorry, just being honest. I wish you all the best, God bless, Vaya con Dios
Meow! Angry? Bitter? Me? HAHAAAA ok keep telling yourself that. I absolutely love my life. No brats to ruin it.
I'm a CF lesbian and I'm not angry per se. I just wish people would put thought into this decision like we do. Besides, with the world in the state it is in at the moment, having children is a moral crime. The planet is dying due to too many people as it is, famine in South Sudan, refugee kids in Syria dying under a butcher of a dictator...and all they want is a mini me. Just NO. Criminally selfish.
The broad is mad for some reason. Just telling it like it is and being real. Apparently there are a LOT of angry snowflakes on here. Famine is imminent and these parents will cause a war to feed to their many accidental mouths. A woman down below couldn't get pregnant, now that she has twins, she regrets. Amazing. They're selfish yet they project that upon us....riiiight. We're just intelligent to look ahead. They just thought shortsightedly in the "here and now" they know the truth. Just too stupid and choose not to listen. Famine causes war then disease and children contract disease...no ones angry. The person above can't seem to differentiate between truth telling and anger. Sad. Snowflake haha
Stop projecting. You parents put up false images of a happy family when in reality its a sham. So to avoid being deemed a monster for regretting kids, you come on here, we found this and oh nooo the secret is out. Maybe if you discipline your lil ** fruits, parenting will be easier and fun.
Ps don't get angry at your kids to the extent to kill them or leave. You've made your bed, slave.
Love this:
Bitterness at its finest. Us childfree people take great delight in our decisions when people like you post :D
That's really pathetic of you to delight in the suffering of others.
That's really pathetic of you, I assume a parent, coming on here. Too late! I'm here for fun! Stop playing victim. You'll get over it...or not. Oh well
Die in a fire
You're doing a good job of that buddy. Die from a heart attack brought by your kids due from stress. 😂
Btw that's a post from WAY down there from another childfree person gloating. Teehee!
No, his/her kids should go diaf
What the ** are you guys even talking about. This is this a confession post about your child free life or parenthood? stop **' stalking people who have kids and want to vent and go get a life. Interestingly enough your child free choice ** has landed you on the same site as someone with a child so I'm guessing your obviously bored as ** with your lonely ** life bc the only way I found this site was by typing in I don't like parenthood and some how your on here ** face...r u you so bored your still trying to decide on parenthood and convince yourself? if so welcome...if not go eat a ** and do something people without kids can't do right now since your life is so great. ** man...go babysit and see if you really want kids rather than trolling this post
Whether you parents who want to just leave or not, keep this in mind: once you become a parent, you're a parent for life.
No one likes because it's the ** truth.
Parents hate the truth. Pathetic. "Isn't my Chelsea beautiful?" (A fat 4 year old)..."ohhh I like her...shoes" (walks away and spoils their dog)
Once you give birth and raise that child, it's ALL competition in life. Best schools, best healthcare, foods, etc. Have fun doing that. There are kids, adults, whom sue their own parents. Yeah parenthood is SO rewarding and worth it. FOH
Explain WHY kids are somehow worth it without lying and trying to convince yourselves. Try not to sound selfish.
Now explain why they're not worth it.
I can be rest assured that the cons outweighs the pros. Snip Snip! Goodbye ovaries!
Once you give birth, you already put a death sentence on them. Who's selfish again?
Don't feel bad. Most parents have periods of time that they hate being a parent. Hopefully as yours get older & are more independent you will be able to enjoy being a parent again.
I feel the same way.the worst thing is that my 13 year old does not appreciate anything I do. I am a single divorced parent and I hate it. If I had known it was going to be like this, I would have never had a kid.
Too late!
Thanks Einstein.
Babies can do less than 5 things. Puppies can do more, plus they're stronger...enough said.
Im hoping someone can relate to my situation i am stuck in. i am with someone for very superficial reasons. dating has been difficult for me as i usually do not end up attracting the type of person i am attracted to. i finally did and in a very shallow way i feel that i obtained some type of status by being with this person. i suffered from severe depression and anxiety when i was alone so having this person filled a void in my life. we dont get along that great and fight quite often but i keep going as i know how difficult it was to even meet someone like the person i am with. the only issue now is that my significant other wants children. i never really have. i am inclined to do it just so we can stay together because i dread the thought of being by myself again and dating people who i am not even into. i keep saying i guess i can deal with the baby and will do it for her. i know there will be more bills and less time for me start my side business i have been working so **. i dont know if i pick loneliness or having a baby i dont really want.
Dude, pick lonliness!!! A kid will destroy a good relationship let alone a bad one! Seriously, get out now and look for a childree woman.
Really? It's not THAT hard?? You're on this site, asking for suggestions of an obvious answer. Loneliness is a blessing. People on here wishing for peace and quiet and time for THEMSELVES but it'll never happen due to all the ** kids they "somehow" spawned and partners they wish to leave. Why add your argumentative person into your "lonely" yet peaceful life, let alone a ** baby, which is worse.
You'll be FOREVER stuck to that person whom you're selling yourself short with; you are. Read the comments bud, answers are obviously there. That possible kid will be the end of you and God forbid, lead you to suicide which some pathetic "parents" on here yearn to do. It'll deepen your wound of depression. Don't be desperate. Leave your person and WAIT for someone that'll love you and respect the things you enjoy.
Good things come to those who wait. Why just stay "settled" with the loser? You ain't married! Find a hobby dude (or girl). I rather be depressed and lonely with peace/tranquility than depressed with a child I never wanted, though regretfully spewed with a partner I NEVER wanted to be with and making my life **. Do you know how many people on here would kill to be in your shoes?!
You work? The activities of a single person or childfree couple are endlessssssss. Workout, get a makeover, travel, etc. Why choose something thats Hellish? BABIES RUIN EVERYTHING! Everything as in in marriages, finances, **, bodies, mentally, need I say more??? They're not cute. Get puppies. Don't mean to be rude or anything, just pointing out the obvious. Point blank. Good luck in life...
From a parent that was in your shoes now and made it worse. Obvious enough?
"No - staying w someone to keep from being lonely is bad enough (that's what I did) but once we had a kid (15months old) it drained our souls and hearts and because we stayed together out of fear of being alone, we can't parent together on the same wave length because we're not the right ppl for one another. Having a kid killed any bright aspect of our relationship that was left and I can't stand being a parent. My soul is sucked dry I'm constantly sick from being run down from no sleep working full time and taking care of everything while listening to a baby whine and throw tantrums - I whisper to myself at least once a day "God I wish I didn't have a kid" - have a kid if u meet ur soul mate and both agree on parenting style - also don't have a kid if ur not doing good financially".
This person became wise and insightful after all this occurred upon him/her unfortunately ...
I'm sure it opened your eyes now, if not, well enjoy ** and kiss EVERYTHING farewell.
I hate to break it you all but I love being a parent....
apart from...
The loneliness
The suicidal depression
The career that went to s**t
Inability to sleep when I do get time for it.
Being repeatedly put down for not following childcare orders exactly.
Being coerced into doing whatever is demanded while pretending that it was my choice.
None of my own friends left to speak to.
But keep a smile and pretend. Here we go...
It's just so satisfying being a parent. I can't imagine being without a child...
I was in a similar situation, except really had a connection to this man (now my husband). I've never wanted kids in my whole life. He knew this and still assumed I'd just change my mind because a woman who doesn't want kids is 'just a phase'. After about 5 years together, we were going through some tough times but working things out and then the accidental pregnancy occurred. I didn't want this, but between the difficulties we were getting past and the new guilt trip he was bringing in me for not wanting the baby, I allowed myself to be talked into keeping it. The first six months were absolute **. Things are better now (our child is four), but I have never once been glad that I let my husband talk me into keeping the baby. I love our child, but I truly hate being a parent and feel that it had sucked the life out of me. My husband and I love each other, but our relationship is not as good as it used to be and I think deep down he knows he asked me to do something I never wanted to do. I think now he knows it wasn't just a phase. I will take any opportunity to get out of the house by myself and do what I want to do.
My advice: if you don't want kids, don't have them and don't let anyone talk you into it. Even if you are absolutely in love with someone, don't be talked into it.
Maybe it would be wise not to have a baby with this partner of yours. Especially after reading this thread where parents are sharing how difficult it can be, you might be setting yourself up for more heartache and pain, as well as paving a difficult path for your children before they even get here.
I respect these parents sharing their experience and their difficulties. Perhaps you can look at their honesty as a cautionary tale for you, and even a warning. If you don't feel ALL IN about having kids with this person, it's probably for a reason. You may have landed on this page to help you with this decision. What is your gut telling you?
And as someone who has dealt with depression and has worked in counseling, Take the time to heal within yourself however you see fit. You deserve to live a life that's actually right for you, and there's plenty of ways out there to help you get through depression and lonliness. (I started with a Google search and ended up volunteering on a suicide hotline. Oddly enough volunteering/training helped me work through my own issues....but find what works for you).
Whatever you decide, I'm Wishing you the best, and remember to be good to yourself! Make choices that help you bring out the greatness that is already within.
Don't have children if you are unsure. It is really really hard work that never ends and puts immense strain on even the strongest connections. Definitely find happiness other ways!
Having children won't guarantee that you won't be alone. Most likely this person will leave you eventually and then you'll be stuck with a kid you don't want, paying bills you dont want and watching her have more kids with another man while you have the kid every other weekend (or more... you might even end up with full custody and then how will you find someone) .... you will still be alone and trying to date people you aren't attracted to. You'll end up knocking someone else up and then you'll have to do it all again. Loneliness is WAY better than creating a human you don't want just to keep someone who will leave you anyway. Why would anyone think that a kid will ensure that they'll never be lonely? Have you not seen the divorce rates?
Dude this all could've been preventable. You're a selfish breeder. WE KNOW you people put on an act. You had nothing going for you, and thought not 1, not 2 but 4 KIDS could fix it and NOW you see YOU made your life much worse and irreversible. Don't resent your offspring for the mistakes YOU created. Good luck in life.
Im sure youre so perfect. Shut up & go away.
My wife works weekends, so it's like I'm a single father looking after him for two days before returning to work on Monday. And don't you pay through the nose for them? What you give, time and money-wise, is a fact. What you get back, positive or negative, is opinion. I prefer facts.
This whole thread is so incredibly sad.
It's quite funny because all this could've been reversible yet people on here continue to be dumb and worsen their situations and not try to fix but complain like spoiled kids. Sad as in pathetic more like.
Yup. But true.
I am a 21 year old single mom. I absolutely do love my son - that is not a farce. I can feel that when I look at him, but as far as the positives versus the negatives of parenting go, I am absolutely not meant for parenthood. I am a selfish individual with no maternal instinct and I lose my temper daily. It's truly unfortunate as my child does deserve more than what I am able to mentally provide. I think there should be less of a societal backlash on this "taboo" subject as many parents feel this way but wallow in their emotions rather than expressing them due to societal expectations. I've read many responses on this post that tell people to "** it up" and "live with their mistakes" which is simply not logical. These types of situations always spiral out of control and get worse before they get better. I truly believe living feeling imprisoned will only hurt all the children with parents who are affected by this in the long run. I would love to set up a sort of support group of people who want the responsibility of parenthood that could potentially help co-parent struggling households. I believe their should be more options for people suffering as the majority of us on this post are. Does any one have any ideas or advice to get through this? I'd love to address the needs of my child and myself in the best way possible given the situation but am lost in how to do so.
I'd join your support group
Many wouldn't and remain anon in that support group. You have **...I like **.
You are a wonderful person,to take a hard experience and use it to try and improve the world.i have no advice,other than maybe set up a website,but I'm sure you're doing the best you can for your kid and that's what matters.I have no kids myself,and I don't want them,but us childless women don't all hate parents.i respect you so much for doing something I couldn't.
We don't. Just the stupid ones.
Child LESS or Free? If you don't want them, it's referred as Childfree or CF. Childless just means you eventually want kids and trying or couldn't. Use the words correctly please.
I'm not a parent yet, but this idea is a great one! Please make your idea & dream a reality. As you can see here, there is a lane, a need, and a market for it. Supporting, uplifting, and empowering each other makes a world of difference. Especially from a parent that has been through it. It's a win-win for you, other parents, and all the children involved.
Even this space where people are able to get things off of their chest anonymously is healing in itself. You didn't get the idea by accident. If it came to you, it may be for a reason. Move forward with it. Good luck!
Glad you owned up to your mistakes.
I think your right and it sadly explains why there is so much abuse of kids by their parents, there's no support for people hating life and parenthood and i can see why some people snap and end up hurting the kids that have made their lives a misery. It should be made easier to give them up or access help for a proper break from them. Takes all my strength not to smack the little ** in the face sometimes. Parents need a break and they don't get one these days.
L basically feel the EXACT same way as you and l am a mother of 2, being a mom who's less than thrilled about the daily pains of child rearing is "worse". People would probably consider me a bad person if they knew how frustrated and drained l feel from having to be a slave to my kids. l love my children more than anything and they're my biggest blessing and greatest gift but ** l am EXHAUSTED
l have 2 kids both who are too young for school so my whole day revolves around feeding them, cleaning up after them and basically taking care of their every need while l neglect myself to the extreme
We aren't bad peoples for feeling the way we do, we would be. As if we didn't drudge through and get up to be a parent every day even though it's the last thing we want to do. We are just tired, we are drained and need some relief but it will come. Some days are better than others let's just look forward to those. One day we will miss them because they will be grown and no longer "need" us or would rather be with their friends so let's try to "enjoy"
Sorry to burst your bubble of hope but some grown kids will stay with their parents in their 50s and mooching off them until they die and fight over the will. But whatever. It varies. I'm a tarantula...
Like end up in a nursing home and they'll never visit. Yeah kids are sooooo worth it and it's rewarding.
So true I've watched my grandpa cry because my mom is just too busy to call or visit him.
Wow. Talk about sacrificing for your kids, vice versa is just awful. That's so sad.
Buddy I heard the stories. Im an RN at a nursing home and this calm, very generous grandpa I met, he told me his own kids got tired of him being a burden and stole about $5k of his card, unbeknownst to his knowledge. I never really see anyone visiting him. Poor guy. Least I'm here. I love the elderly stories and keeping them company. But he did say "Sa ** shame my own kids did this after all I've done for them". Many of the relatives just come to mooch but a few care enough to visit and take out to spend time.