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I hate being a parent
I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent.
I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate changing diapers. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play.
I hate being trapped in ** broiling desert, backwards ** Arizona, just because a job pays well enough to support four kids and moving would mean working for about 1/2 the pay. I've wasted a third of my life in this ** place because I can't afford to move because of these kids. I hate having to keep a close watch over my kids because I live in a ** huge beige and cement city...the more people there are, the more sick ** you gotta worry about taking kids.
I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets.
The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. Should have just said "no ** way" to the wife after the first two. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two.
I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. **, I've gotta get up in 3 1/2 hours to take the older ones to school.
The brief moments of "oh, that's cute" are far overshadowed by the sheer level of ** I hate about parenthood. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18.
And to top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years (moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage)?
Why even bother typing this up? I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible (and almost caring) parent. I've been living the lie for years.
Totally with everyone on this. My daughters 14 months old and I love her and people always ask "can you imagine your life without her now?"
YES, YES I CAN.
I would be having fun and I'd have some of MY life back. I'd not be going to bed at 10.00pm on a Saturday night because you know she's going to wake up at 2 and scream the house down. I'd be able to do stuff for me and I might have a bit of a life with my partner again instead of bickering or talking about her . ALL THE TIME.
Like other people have said on here, I can't believe that people do this and they actually want to do this. Is it worth it? Maybe in the long run I don't know, I'm only 14 months into it but at the moment no chance.
As for having more kids, not happening. I'd sooner cut my own ** off than go through this again. Even the good bits.
I'm not a parent yet but from what I can gather it does get better after the infant stage. A recent study found that only 3 percent of parent's claim to regret having children. That's very low. Of course, parents may not be sharing their true feelings but even considering this I reckon you might be looking at only 10% who regret having them. Maybe for the first two years it's tough but I bet it gets a whole lot better. I also think if you are an older parent (30 plus) then you are much more settled with having children. I certainly wouldn't have wanted them too early, in my 20's.
I think if you imagine that you'd never had them you'd probably regret that also and think about what might have been.
I dunno, I'm 5 years in and it's only getting harder.
No, it gets harder and more encompassing in your life. I think more people talk like it's the best thing in the world because of 2 things; might as well try and enjoy the ** (the kids aren't going anywhere) and also because of what they think people will think of them if they say other wise. I'm 7 years in and I don't particularly enjoy being a parent, but it's my responsibility so I'll do it.
Haha! Wait till they're teenagers!!!!! 😂
Oh only up to 10/100 parents you meet regret having children. That's a huge ** number buddy.
** off with your idiot studies.
I'm an older parent. 39 years old. I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old. I HATE being a parent. The first child was managable, but now that I've had a second child (who was an accident), it is unbearable. I am miserable, sleep deprived, and have NO time for myself. None. I cry constantly and just hope for death most the time. I feel like ny life is over because I will be almost 60 before they're out of the house. I love them and it's not their fault, but I definitely regret having children. But I made my bed and now I have to lay in this ** I've created.
Wow bud I give you credit for your merit statement. You HAVE **. You could do more things sans kids but hey, your insight is on point. Bravo.
Oh man I'm so sorry to hear. You are not alone though. I only have one child and I lover her...but totally agree. Parenting ** the life out of some people. And I honestly believe that you're not a bad person just because you really don't like being a parent. I wish I could offer more advice but I'm in the same boat and I just hope that you find peace eventually
I have a 14 month old. I hate being a parent and I although my wife is a good woman, marriage to me is pointless without kids, so yes I regret getting married also. I never realized how valuable my freedom was. I'm typing this seconds after having to cut a ** short because my son always finds a way to get out of his area. It is going to take me about 20 minutes to type this because he keeps grabbing for the mouse. I look forward to work because at least at work I have a tiny bit of freedom. I am strongly considering hiding the days I take vacation from work just so my wife doesnt see it as an opportunity to give me s*** to do. Most guys I talk to feel this way or similarly. Its ** prison. I literally hate leaving work Friday because I know I have to be home for 2 days. Sleeping is a long lost luxury and my friends don't even bother asking me to do stuff anymore because they know I cant. HOW THE F*** IS HAVING KIDS SUCH A POPULAR THING!!! This is ** on earth for me. A stray bullet to my face would instantly killing me would be a god send....Worst of all I have a sense of honor and conscience. My son did not ask to be here, so I will just continue to be miserable for his benefit, but I am amazed so many people find having kids to be such an integral part of life. Its slowly veering away from that, but you couldn't pay me enough to have a kid in my next life. Hopefully I am smarter in that life than I am in this one. Parenting is 95% bad and about 5% good.
Amen. Lol
"Marriage to me is pointless without kids" really? Well least you know it's not true and millions of other CHILDFREE ppl can refute that **. Marriage tends to last longer without children. Tis a shame you realized this too late to alter it. Good insight on yourself though. I give you kudos for that. I guess childfree do correlate with high intelligence.
LOL go to work for 5 days is peaceful for you and an extra 2 days of more work with family is **. You wish death but it may not ever come until elderly age. You're in **. Watch the film Hook when Captain Hook tells Peter's daughter that her parents were happy before they had them. Ouch! I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT! ME ME ME ME! NOW NOW NOW NOW! That's kids 101 and their parents--plus the regrets.
You've been fooled and lied too. You have joined the Miserable Parents Club. Population: growing...
I think being a parent is soooo frustrating because we have these ideals of how everything should be abd when it doesn't turn out that way, we tend to feel resentment and betrayed by all these bs shows & ads etc on t.v. Parents are constantly judged by everyone about everything and made to feel as though they're not good enough. This makes us more anxious, stressed and depressed and creates an unhealthy family life. I could go on and on. Just do what works for you & make sure your kids know how much you love them.
Youre not good enough nor a good parent if you allow your parasites to go **-nilly in stores and restaurants.
LOL WERE ALL PARASITES
Cancer more like
LOL sandra hawley has 3 kids and is CLEARLY miserable, she should be on this site...pro natalist cow. Childfree! those sites are so blissful!
Kitty 332 and Kim K LOL you KNOW they miserable and lazy
Just coming here just for truth, ** and giggles hehe and assurance. You breeders are so ** gullible to believe children will accompany in your old age, they're NOT worth it. Stop backpedaling, "I love my son/daughter but...I hate my life but..." well, YOU caused it. This bs martyrdom. You made mistakes and now you must ** it up and LIVE with them. There are these wonderful procedure and process called abortion and adoption. But too late for you dumbshits now haha do NOT blame your kids, they did not choose you lousy buffoons nor being born into your crappy lives...sad but oh well.
I would read for laughs how disgusting soon-to-be moms brag about their pregnancies and some are TMIs--nasty ** "pregnancy is a blessing" whatever to convince you from insanity sweetheart. They better enjoy it now until they know what they get themselves into, then I laugh because they're screwed. Some kids grow up to be serial killers and shoot up malls or schools. Enjoy parenting! Kisses!
Seriously people ugh I came across this website looking for support from people who love their kids ,but can't afford them and what I find is heartless ,selfish monster's who have gone as far as to write that kids are horrible beings that ruin your life.I am well aware of how crazy my life has been since I had kids ,but to even think or feel so horrible about their existents is awful.My kids are wonderful and they bring out so many positive feeling out of me.Maybe if you liberals tried more to love them for how awesome they are rather then hate them for not letting you have your way in life ,you could actually enjoy a life with them.Their here already why not make the best of it.
Why do some people immediately place a political label, such as "liberal" on seemingly anyone who they deem as morally inferior to themselves? This discussion has absolutely nothing to do with politics, and you are putting a label on many, many people who you don't know. It doesn't help anything or anyone, and lambasting people for their weaknesses doesn't help, either. You want to help? Offer real, helpful solutions.
Maybe you should stop being so judgmental
Jeez just because you're so uneducated you can't express yourself correctly doesn't mean you're only good for breeding. But I guess it's a little late for you.
Start reading to your kids. It'll be good for them, and great practice for you
"You liberals" ... really? I'm as dismayed at the tone of this stuff as you are, and I've never voted for a republican in my life and likely never will. None of the miserable stuff posted here (not saying that as a pejorative, these poor ** are clearly just miserable as **) sounds in any way politically oriented.
I'm a dad of three; 7yo, 6yo, 3yo. Oh, and to the first time parents of babies still in diapers - ** YES things get easier as they get older. Best advice I have for you is 1. hang in there and 2. do NOT get pregnant again until the current youngest is O-U-T of diapers. Having a six and seven year old is not bad; but the three-ish years they were both in diapers at the same time ** near destroyed my marrriage.
"You liberals" you **
Take an English course you ** animal!
Oh so YOU'VE felt down in the miserable dumps. Sorry for bursting your bubble but THIS is for unleashing truths and venting or getting things off your chest. Children can behave like unruly monsters. THOSE are the ones I'd love to hit so hard. They cry "you want to get slapped again? Then shut up!!! Mommy's trying to sleep" they're not little angels. Why you think there are stories of parents killing their kids? Some wish to be childFREE or if their kids have mental disabilities, they "can't handle it anymore" and murder him/her by pushing them off the bridge. They're worth it huh? I see and study you paren't and I hardly see you guys smile when YOUR kids are around you in stores and other places where they shouldn't be allowed. You can plaster on a smile but I see the exhaustion and eyes wandering for desperate help and possible regret. If they bug you and being unruly, DO something! Spank or slap! They work! Spare the rod, spoil the brat! "Proverbs 13:24--Whoever spares the rod, hates their child, but the one who LOVES their children is careful to disciplone them." Shame on you fools.
It's "they're"
My husband is talking me into having kids and I'm so afraid that I'm on the pill without him knowing. I am currently unemployed and refuse to have a baby now as it will mean that I will never have the possibility to do work in the future (I can make more money than him and refuse to be the stay at home parent).
One of my cousins decided one day to leave the house after driving the kids to school. She never came back. I dream of doing the same because I know I'll only have them to pass on my genes and hate children.
Leave (him as well) before it's too late and you'll be in worse ** and trapped. You're not a baby making machine. Be smart and flee
Trust your gut!! I wasn't independent woman and got pregnant and gave up everything it is been so terrible please follow your gut if you don't want kids don't have them no matter what
Don't do it. Biggest mistake u will ever make. Seriously. I'm paying big time. Be free. Be free. I dream of that so bad.
"Passing on genes" is a common lie and a false propaganda from pro-Natalist society. The future is getting worse so why put a kid through that? Your genes are nothing special. You won't be rewarded. They're not asked to be born. Many known ppl don't have kids (childfree) and STILL carry on their legacy. Don't have a ball and chain to your ankle...the future is dim for kids born now. They won't amount to anything significant. Get real. Stay sweet
Kids of the future, are NOT the future. Less to no jobs. Food shortage. Great job parents. Life takes care of itself. The next Black plague. We're due for one anyway...
Conversate!!!! You people cannot be THIS stupid. Tell him you don't want any monsters! For all you know, you'll end up preggo, he'll see you unattractive later on, won't take on fatherly responsibilities as he should since HE wanted the baby, leave you for a woman without kids and possibly fit, cycle begins anew. So WHAT if he leaves you?! For not replicating his DNA?! SELFISH. Thirsty for a man? Think abt the considerations of the possible child that may be unfortunately born into your union. Bad ending there of NO escape. If you have a baby from him, resent the kid, you're a breeder. If not, good for you for sticking up for yourself and being an intellectual. Would you REALLY live a life of constant misery with ppl you'll probably despise or live it in peace? Literally. Your own place, get a dog or whatever, get back in the dating pool, meet someone who does NOT want kids either and respects you...your life. THINK about it dear. Don't be a sheep!
So you wanna end up like one of your cousins? A parent (unworthy title) until death but doesn't have the guts to actually PARENT and abandons their own flesh and blood? 👏 shocker...
I feel like I could've written this. I only have 1 kid, but I have warn was plugs. He's so whiny ALL THE TIME. I just want to run away. I love him to death and I know its only a phase, but I CAN NOT WAIT until he goes to school!!
*ear plugs
A leather belt. Slap to the face. SCREAM at him!!!!
Worn.
Youre a lousy parent who doesnt deserve to be called a parent. Youll end up a lousy passive friend to your own offspring. You hate your kid if you don't discipline him but he'll end up in prison and you'll only blame yourself you fool
I'll never understand why people always say they love their son/daughter to death...but then hate being around them and Hate being a parent to them?
That's just totally contradicting Obviously you DON'T love him/her then do you!!
This is my number one concern. I am currently 31 and the only one of my friends with no children. I feel so free and it has allowed me to be a lot more driven and move forward career wise. They seem worn out all the time and not really happy. Having kids is probably already at the bottom of my list and seeing them makes me not want them at all. Their kids are great but after about 12 hours even them playing gets on my nerves. Reading through many of the comments it seems most of the regrets come when having multiple children. If I were to have one it would def be just one.
I am a faculty member at a college and am surrounded by many colleagues who don't have children and they are able to travel, buy fabulous homes in the city and are great aunts, uncles, god parents etc.
My current boyfriend has expressed wanting kids but it doesn't seem to be at the top of his list either. I want a fulfilling life and I don't think a kid should and will do that for me.
My friends without kids love fabulous lives, and my one friend with a kid lives in her parent's guest house, shes broke. I have 1 child and we're broke. Sometimes I wonder WTH Iwas thinking.
I don't have too many financial concerns and being a parent is still s**t af. I got pregnant by accident with twins (It happens more often when you're almost 40 and of course I was the one). I work all the time as there's always extra hours in my specialty and it pays well so I say I'm doing it for their college funds. It's even worse in the eyes of society since I'm the mother not the father.
**
Dual income NO kids. **
You weren't 😂
All I can say is trust your gut seriously you're not missing out on anything just because you don't have kids. If there's any doubt that you want a child.. Please don't have one I'm telling you it can be a never-ending nightmare. I know this may sound blunt but it's from a place of love as somebody who has learned the hard way kids are not for everyone it's okay
Having kids will hinder you from reaching your dreams and goals. They'll be your obstacles. They'll keep you from the things you're actually missing out on. I've met so many dumb young mom's (who look OLDER than me) only way of achieving happiness is by drinking too much and partying hard. That ** gets old and tiresome... they're not worth anything.
I hate to adimt u are so rite I feel like crying but I have nomo tears I wish I wudda know what I wanted wen I was younger focused on my goals instead of getting ** by even worse dude wud f me up something bad I was just about to get out wen pop I got popped I did manage to get out tho cuz prik hate kid i was carryin. just. Wanted to fuc kinda thang an I jut cudnt abort .life gos on time has past put kid 1st cuz luv tat lil ** have had good enjoyable vacays wit kid but now after some time kid is big. No need me. Much I can do my job hope not late it never late better late then never type of mental I hav I find myself getting drunken happy ish getting old wats left tho I say. Good Energy years I gave to my 1 kid took a lot ahhhh keep goin keep my head up 4better days cuz my gangsta far from over peace
I have a Autistic non verbal 4 year old, I don't work in the town I live in so I can have a better job so we can afford the best care for her, the private autism care she attend cost $25k per year, add in all the other care bills, & we are way over $100k, that's a second hand Lamborghini
I had 4 motorcycles, classic car, large house with pool & largest home gym, yearly international holidays before she was born, now life is **, I would change it all as I was way happier person before this money, time, energy black hole came along.....
I totally get it. It's so hard and feels less rewarding than I thought it would be. Some moments are definitely better than others. I definitely go the "what could have been"'s. Not fun. I gotta work on acceptance and taking care of my thoughts better or I'll never be happy!
Surrender her to the state if nothing else. you shouldnt force this debt generator upon yourself, and even though she ** the life out of you, she deserves to be somewhere she can be really cared for and helped (not that being in the care of the state or government is 100% perfect, but still.) save yourself the heartache of trying to cling to the life youve got now.
Wow you're selfish for putting a kid that didn't ask to be born into YOUR life through the system. Good luck with that conscious. It's better to abort than put a kid through adoption process.
Looks like you miserable parents have to SACRIFICE almost 90 to 99%% of the things you love more than the individuals who didn't ask to be born and stuck with you haha. $$$$$ and freedom down the drain is REAL
Selfish breeder alert! LOL
Thanks for being a stand-up guy. I'm sorry to hear your baby has special needs. I know it's a lot of money, but it's just stuff. If being childfree and having money was so great, why the ** are all the rich childfree people miserable? Most people overestimate how great their former lives were anyway. Hang in there.
*Sniff Sniff* I smell salty liberal tears in the comment section...
And I smell ** in here. Someone flew in like a pigeon, crapped on the comment section and flew away, thinking they contributed anything at all.
Aren't liberals racist inbreds? Trump lovers?
I love my kids because they came out of my body and are a part of me. I love them because I'm supposed to love them. I hate them for every other reason.
I wish we never had kids. I let my husband talk me into having the first child and it wasn't horrible, but wasn't great. Then he talked me into having a second child and that was the worst mistake ever! The two kids by themselves aren't horrendous, but once they are in the same vicinity as each other, they are your worst nightmare...hurting each other or screaming or crying or destroying something.
I have cut ** out of our lives as the thought disgusts me. The thought that ** created these two monsters just completely ruins any thought of enjoyment.
If I knew 10 years ago what I know now, I would have never had kids. I don't understand why anyone would want to have kids. They are horrible beings that ruin your life and turn you into a slave to their wants and needs. It amazes me how the friends I have who never had kids still look so young and vibrant and the rest of us that had kids look so old, beaten, and decrepit.
** comes out of your body do love every third that passes through your sphincter? Not trying to be mean, sorry you're miserable. I wish more parents would be honest and openly discuss how horrible it truly is.
You love them due to the lingering oxytocin that's in your body. Every mammal has that. It's not a coerced feeling. Looks like the phrase "You don't know what love is until you have a child" is refuted. Least the childfree KNOW way beforehand what makes them happy and what wouldn't.
Boogers come out of your nose, do you feel a connection to them?
I do love my son, but I do have days where I wonder what the ** I did to my life. I use to dream about having the perfect girlfriend when I was in my early 20's, now all I dream about is going back to my old life of peace, serenity and dare I say it... Selfishness.
I often dread coming home after work because I know exactly how I'll feel, indifference and annoyance at the crying and guilt because my girlfriend has been home with him all day and is more drained than me, and all of this only intensifies my daydream of being alone again.
Call me a lesser human, call me selfish, but anytime anyone even jokes about us having another child, I literally feel an intense sense of fear and anger at the possibility that this is "expected" of us. If I had of known i'd ever feel this way i'd of had a vasectomy a very long time ago.
Get a vasectomy now as insurance!
Oh boy, I had a child when I was much younger with a woman who was not right for me at all. As a matter of fact, I did not want him growing up in an angry, yelling, and hateful environment so we split up. That relationship stayed horrible until very recently, but the little man only had to deal with it when I picked him up or dropped him off. I never said a bad thing about her to him, she eventually stopped bad mouthing me. He is a stable adult and I am thankful for my decision on that situation.
Fast forward 14 years and I met my now wife. She decided we were having a child only 6 months into the marriage, which was only a year after we met. She has the capability to make more money than me so I stayed home, we can only just now afford daycare so I have been home with him for nearly 3 years. It ** bad, if I was thrown back in time there is no way I would do any of it. I would never have children and I would love having money, time, and sanity. I'm not certain that if I was given the opportunity to go back I would. I love my children dearly, especially the oldest one. But I would seriously have to think about it, seriously. You're not the only one, and I had to write this with him screaming in the background because I'm not paying attention to him. He really is very good though, if he was not I would have to leave the situation again. I don't pretend though, I tell everyone how hard it is, and that they should absolutely think twice about having children.
I'm on the verge of tears, because my son has been whining all day, throwing little tantrums, asking 5000 questions, and I swear sometimes I wish I was deaf. I stay home with him, too. I miss freedom and sanity. I love him to death. I would proudly, and instantly die for him, but GIVE ME A BREAK!! These tantrums are getting old and sometimes when I can hearone starting I just think to myself "Oh God, here we go again. Never again (another baby)."
Stupid, SLAP him or pop him on the **! It's therapeutic. Don't waste your excuses. Seriously?!
You don't own a leather belt do you? Do you make a deal with your son so he'll behave while other people are glaring at you annoyed? DON'T become and STOP being his ** friend! Why would you let him stress you out?! Tame that **! This is inane!
Patience younger grasshopper. You must have patience.