I hate being a parent

Amazing. Thank you for writing this. Feel I could just put my name at the top and post it again.

This is one of many reasons I don't have kids at 33 and have never wanted any. I actually have no idea why people have children in the modern area, aside from societal brainwashing and some silly legacy nonesense.

Because it earns them next-level benefits and privileges, and all it takes is doing something cockroaches and rabbits (and pretty much every other animal) do much better. If society didn't over-reward people for refusing to close their legs, kids would be much, MUCH less popular.

Agreed. Kids are useless. Dogs are way better and actually easy to raise. Not to mention, they're physically adorable.

Or to be celebrated on Mothers day. Hahaha

I’m with u on this I feel the exact same way I have 4 kids and absolutely no life it’s work sleep I literally sometimes look forward to work to get out of the house n away from kids

Nobody held a gun to your head and commanded you to ** out four more future consumers. Keep looking for work, and include learning basic English in that noble endeavor. (Were you on your back during English class?)

You are an absolute **. Eat **.

Ooooh he's not happy

Woah now, don't get upset about the truth... not my or anyone's fault that that man or woman had unprotected ** and 9+ months later, a screeching banshee emerged out the cooch.

I honestly wish more parents would just come out and admit this, just for the sake of their own therapy. We all know that there’s plenty of parents that are just like you that regret having children, and honestly, it’s okay. We all make decisions we regret, and having children is just another one of those decisions; it’s not immune, and if 100% of parents in the world told you they don’t regret having kids, at least 20% of those people are lying.

I think the only reason that parents like it you keep it so secret is because this confession is often met with such ridiculous amounts of judgment, scowl, and animosity. If we could all be more open and excepting of this honesty, the world could be a better place.

I am truly sorry that you regret having children. Seriously, what you’re dealing with, I don’t wish it upon anyone.

But I’m also really glad that you’re sharing this, because maybe, just maybe, someone who hasn’t had children yet might need to hear your words.
Reproducing is not a necessity, and no one should ever bear children unless they are absolutely sure they want to dedicate themselves to raising a person from age 0 to at least age 18.

However, I truly believe that many young people that enthused about babies and such don’t actually know what they are signing up for. I know that there are people out there that only reproduce because they felt peer-pressured. Either because all of their friends were getting to the babymaking, their parents keeps asking “when they’re going to get grandchildren,” or even bullying them into it, there is even spousal pressure.

All of these things can pressure someone who isn’t actually ready into having a child, but maybe, just maybe, your post can help them reconsider.

Thank you for posting this, and I sincerely hope things get better for you.

I know people who have succumbed to that pressure and had kids. It’s interesting how some will say yes I no longer have free time, it’s bills, chores, errands but they simply accept it and don’t sound regretful. I have a friend who says Ofcourse I miss single life all the time. When I talk to this friend it’s always a convo about making more money, career, suburbs, moving , life insurance. All these things sounds do depressing to me. I believe this friend ended up at the emergency room recently due to blood pressure and stress. They have an infant and everything is so new to them.

Here is the other side of the coin. If you are a single guy in your 30’s most women you meet feel that they need to reproduce. It makes it difficult for us to find someone who doesn’t want to unless she already had kids or health issues. So it does get a little lonely on this side too but I would rather have this than being sleepless and paying more and more towards a wife who now loves our baby more than me and bills for a newborn who won’t appreciate it until he or she is 25+

Babies are beautiful and sweet and cute. But it’s a commitment and you need to know if you are up for it.

They're not all cute. A 48 year old woman had her son at 40 and he looks as if he has Down syndrome. Claiming she decided to have a kid once she got with her cub husband, like sure lady, you decided, you were afraid your age and wanted to get knocked up from the first poor fool that felt interested in you. Sad. She looks like a grandmother. Stay in shape, eat your greens, folks and get lots of rest and water. Parenthood is difficult because YOU make it difficult by allowing them to control you. Assert order and dominance into your kids life and they'll probably behave. Strict parents are awesome. Don't become friends to your lil "darlings". Little vipers. They're not a legacy...toodles!

As someone who is childfree (early 30s, happily married with pets), it's refreshing to see posts like this.

Society sells us a romanticized version of parenthood. During the 5 years I spent trying to find a doctor who would sterilize me, I heard it all: "you'll change your mind"; "it's different when they're your own"; "children are little miracles"... etc., ad nauseam.

Parenthood is not for everyone, nor should it be. It's 2019: we can be complete, fulfilled humans without children. To the OP: it takes serious ** to deviate from social norms, and I thank you (as well as everyone in the comments) for being brave enough to share your story.

Childfree here too! It’s annoying when state the breeder bingos. My favorite is “you’ll regret it” and when I’m in an irritated mood, I bite back with “oh, just like you did? Not much sleep honey huh?” Utter silence... this post is known... sorry parents, not all of you are condescending, selfish, entitled fools but to those who are and say things like these because we don’t fall for such lies. The Instagram false facade of parents and children my look pleasant but in reality, it could be something entirely opposite. Parenthood is a hardship.

Hence serial killers

I’m the same way. It isn’t worth it to me either. My kids are 7 and 2, maybe in the future it will be. Now, def not.

The is the part of parenthood that no one dares talk about. You are expected to love your children unconditionally and always be patient and understanding. What if everybody isn't cut out to be a parent? Its is not something you can test drive like a car and decide its not for you. I made the mistake of having kids because its what other people wanted, the first being my mom when I was 21 and wanted to abort. She made me feel guilty because she didn't abort me when she became a teen mother. The second being my husband who really wanted a kid and we kept trying for 2 years only to have a child he has no interest in, now we are getting divorced and I am stuck with these f****** kids I never wanted on my own as a single parent. I love my kids because they are a part of me, but I hate caring for them, especially while I am still trying to navigate my own life, anxiety, depression, divorce, a job I hate, while they whine and cry about anything that displeases them in the slightest.

Oh I don't like my kid. At all. He's not a very nice person. He's in his late teens and is turning into a worse adult. I was the best parent, attentive, understanding, present etc. But none of that matters. It doesn't. They're going to be who they're meant to be. They'll turn out to be a real ** or a real saint regardless of how well you parent. If great kids can come from terrible backgrounds and blossom into loving adults who refuse to repeat the abuse they went through, as too can little shites come from wonderful parents and turn into abusive adults.

So I've made peace with the fact that I don't like my kid. And will probably stop talking to him once he's gone. Blood or not, a person is a person and I'm free to hate, dislike or just want to distance myself away from anyone who is stressful, abusive or a right piece of **. I make no apologies.

As soon as I came to terms with that, I started to enjoy life again.

Brava! No sarcasm intended. Finally a parent I’d enjoy to talk to because I’ve met so many. Love the integrity. I’ve met a woman with 5 kids, only one she loves as her daughter, the others, when they’re visiting her, she would ask them to leave or make them. Kids are their own individuals. Not simply carbon (footprint) copies. Blood doesn’t matter these days. It’s a hit or miss, kids in bad neighborhoods may end up dead, prison or become well-mannered. Wealthy children become sadistic, psychotic mass murderers. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

He was boring since he was a baby huh? Babies ** bruh

My mother admitted, once again, today that she would have liked to continue schooling and have a career instead of having me and my siblings. Anyway, I was doing some searching on the internet and came across this page. My husband and I are child free. We both couldn't make up our minds, and had some financial and job set backs, so we just never had the little guys. I think it's the saddest thing when I see or hear that parents don't enjoy their children. It's the saddest thing to me when I hear my own mother didn't enjoy me. I meet a lot of unhappy people in my work, and the ones with kids seem to be some of the unhappiest. I understand that sometimes life just happens - we are not fully aware of the choices we are making. Anyway, I'm glad that was one thing I didn't add to my plate, as my husband and I are overjoyed we never had children.

Oh...my... I’m sorry your mother is selfish and told you that she regretted having you... I can’t fathom my own parents and they STILL shower me with gifts!

I always feel that there is something in the structure of our society that is amiss when it comes to the family. We have basically no bargaining power with regard to work and childcare. We are not in charge of our lives, our communities have been setup to promote profits for developers. We had no say. We just take what the owners offer us. That's the problem. It takes a village. There is no village. Everything is a sham. Parenting is just damned near impossible in this society. I know I love my kids, but raising them right feels impossible sometimes. It's too much.

There IS a village, but it comes and goes at random-- partly because of YOU. You *are* supported by "the village" in terms of handouts and special dispensation-- but "the village" becomes your worst enemy when your unsupervised spawn acts out and some other "village" member has the audacity to so much as roll their eyes. You want all the perks but none of the inevitable **-wagging you deserve when you release your feral ** croissant into public.

It's no secret that having children **. And no one knows this more than the ** that make up governments, all around the world. But having kids is the only way they know you'll have to keep working crappy, stressful jobs to keep feeding more mouths, to put a bigger roof over your heads, to buy more **... All in the name of taxes.

It's why governments are desperately trying to encourage people to have kids through creepy ads and articles.

It's why countries are offering more financial pressies/gifts within the first year of a child's birth (entirely forgetting a child is for life, and not just for Christmas!)

It's why people who decide to not have children or those who decide to only have one child are punished financially for being intelligent about a decision that impacts their lives.

Yes being a parent **, because having children is all about how much money your good little slaves (children) will make for the country, and just how much they can make off your offspring's back. But in the run up to the day they join the conveyor belt of slavery, they'll make ** sure they'll feed your little one their daily dose of "shut up and take it", all while you play good little nanny to their future investment. That's right, THEIRS not yours. Sadly, your part is done. Now they're here, the Gov will take over. But where do you think you're going? They still need to be fed and clothed, silly.

Wealth not health.
Taxes not happiness.

Ppl were procreating well before

Well, they didn't have a choice. We have the pill, and everything that's come after.

That literally sounds like living ** on earth. My husband and I are vehemently childfree (so much so that we both had sterilization procedures done BEFORE we met), and I couldn't be happier.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you find your way to this post? As a childfree person, what were your motivations in deciding to search for a post about the pitfalls of parenthood?

I would imagine that some of the childfree (like myself) find their way here because we are unsure whether our decision to not have children was the correct one, and therefore perhaps we seek justification for that decision.

So to all those who don't like having children all I'm saying is that sitting on the other side of the fence has its own challenges. I think whichever side you are on, you will always spend at least some time wondering if things would have been better over the fence.

For me, since I love my parents and know they did an exceptional job of raising us, I wanted to know if parenthood is easy LOL it isn’t but they love kids! They’re glad we’re adult and independent now but I would laugh of the reminiscent of my childhood. So I don’t want kids. I cherish my freedom, sanity, sleep, and pleasure of doing whatever I want. Babies are rude lil rug apes. Some are cute but absolutely not worth it. That’s a new car, 4 dogs, exercise equipment or a few of Louis Vuitton purses!

That or misery loves company as miserable parents who lack discipline with their monsters wants childfree parents to suffer the same hellish fates. We see you, we don't want lil bastards. I love my savings account, job, and my FREE TIME. Not to mention I can be a part time parent.

Believe it or not this came up in the Senior Center discussion group at my over 55 community. Looking back on it , now in their eighties many wished they'd had the options then people do no. I myself went child free well over 50 years ago when it was considered outrageous. I also went no-contact well before the trend of today. The conversation never ends.

There are very few childfree sites on the web, especially compared to the parenting sites (especially mommy-centric ones). You'd think the mommies would leave the CF sites alone and stay in their own lane, don't you?

But NOOOOOO, they're motivated in deciding to search for CF sites, where no one took the blue pill about the pitfalls of parenthood... and they proceed to lose their minds all over these CF sites. These oh so "busy" mommies doing The Most Important Job in the World will invariably run to their mommy groups and call in reinforcements to bully and harass these sites.

So in light of that consistent and very real dynamic, I for one DO "mind you asking". Because the reverse is not exactly an unknown occurrence.

For real. They act as if they want no part of being a parent well news flash, you ruined your life! Congrats breeder!

To see how horrible parenting is. Yet there are some pros but the cons outweigh that, considering everyone complaining here. Everyone is curious.

Children ** **! So glad I found a partner who doesn't want them either. Little parasites!

I'm 28 and a father of a 4 yo. She lives with her mom. I pay child support, and I'm genuinely interested in my daughter's life and want her to be well. The child support makes me nearly broke, as I'm a construction laborer who has endured many layoffs with my company. I'm always looking for a better job.

Here's the thing: I met her mom at a party and she was ** 2 other dudes. She said I could do her too, because she liked me, and she hadn't gotten off, so we did it. I barely knew her. She said she was on the pill, but she got pregnant.

The paternity test came back to me and I was doomed. I had the magic bullet. I've tried to get my life in order, but I can't, because women know all of my money goes to the kid. They want someone who can provide, and not for a 4 yo. I'd change the whole dynamic if I could, but having a kid makes my life ** beyond belief. Keep it in your pants, guys. Really.

Wow, after having UNPROTECTED ** with someone who was literally having ** with two other dudes right before you had ** with her, you’re lucky a child is all you got. Sheesh.

Always, always, always wear a condom. The pill is not 100% effective. Also, a girl can lie about being on the pill or stop taking them because she secretly wants to get pregnant and trap you. If she tells you she's on the pill, wear a condom anyway. This is one of the many things they don't teach in school.

Did you see the results of the paternity test on paper or did she just tell you you're the dad? If she was ** two other guys she may have been pregnant already by one of them and then pinned the pregnancy on you because she knew you would stick around and help take care of her and her child. Bad boys get the thrill, nice guys get the bill. There are tons of men raising other men's kids and they don't know it.

It's just fishy to me that she would tell you she's having ** with two other men. Women usually like to keep their sexual past a secret.

I think a lot of this is caused because society tells you to give up so much of yourself, your Lives, to your kids--and you actually believe that nonsense. My parents and grandparents didn't do that. If dancing, music, skating lessons were inconvenient or cost to much, guess what? No If you wanted a pair of $200 shoes, sorry... Here's a lawnmower, go earn that **. Too noisy or destructive? Go outside and learn how to make mud pies, ride bikes and play with other kids--entertain yourself. Mom and Dad Came FIRST. Period. If they wanted to go do something, they did it-the kids sat down, shut up and behaved respectfully, no matter how boring it was. If you acted up, you got your tail beat with a switch or a flip-flop. You, as a parent, wants to sleep in? The kids got cereal and watched cartoons and stayed QUIET until the parents were up. They did chores to take the burden off the parents, cleaned up after themselves! They cut grass, washed dishes and scrubbed a toilet. The problem isn't that you have kids. It's in how you're raising them, giving in the expectation of society that kids come FIRST.... and you're raising unruly brats who think they're entitled to anything they want, when they want it, no matter how inconvenient or expensive....giving up everything you enjoy and your identity to people who are going to leave someday after sucking you and your marriage dry. And then you foist off these undisciplined, spoiled, entitled ** onto the rest of society. If you want to be happy as a parent.... Stop letting your kids run your life, Put your You and Your Spouse First, teach them responsibility and discipline, stop giving in to their every whim and take back your ** life.
(Mother of 3 grown children who are the most intelligent, responsible and wonderful people I've ever met. They are my heroes).
*Does not apply to anyone who is a single parent who is struggling without help or support

This is the best thing I've ever read.

Amazing!

I feel your pain. I'm almost 19, mother of a 2 year-old daughter, and I can't handle it. My mom helps out, but only some. The "father" turned into garbage after the pregnancy. I don't like people in general, loathe holidays, have anxiety and depression, work a crappy part-time job, and having a human crying non-stop near me is abysmal.

I didn't come from a bad family or a bad school district. I felt I received a good education, though I'm finishing in an alternative school. But what did they not emphasize enough? ** in ** = babies. Somehow I grew up thinking that one could just "get off" with a guy and the cream in his ** was not going to lead to a human. ** ** that was dumb. This leads to real-world disasters.

How did you think babies were made? Your parents and school district failed you for sure if you genuinely had no clue.