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I hate being a parent
I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent.
I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate changing diapers. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play.
I hate being trapped in ** broiling desert, backwards ** Arizona, just because a job pays well enough to support four kids and moving would mean working for about 1/2 the pay. I've wasted a third of my life in this ** place because I can't afford to move because of these kids. I hate having to keep a close watch over my kids because I live in a ** huge beige and cement city...the more people there are, the more sick ** you gotta worry about taking kids.
I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets.
The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. Should have just said "no ** way" to the wife after the first two. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two.
I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. **, I've gotta get up in 3 1/2 hours to take the older ones to school.
The brief moments of "oh, that's cute" are far overshadowed by the sheer level of ** I hate about parenthood. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18.
And to top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years (moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage)?
Why even bother typing this up? I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible (and almost caring) parent. I've been living the lie for years.
Parenting is probably the most overrated experience there is. Cognitive dissonance anyone?
OH MY GOD, SO MUCH THIS.
Thanks to ever-increasing numbers of overly entitled breeders and their untrained spawn ruining every venue they're brought to, the sun is setting on this bit of collective fantasy.
You probably just hate it because you're so bad at it.
Stay strong brother. I feel you 1000 %
Hay dad im wake dad and was look at my cartooms dad please were are you dad i keep look for you dad i luv you dad and im be good dad im you little girl dad hugs you dad i dont no what is happen dad i hope you go school with me dad xxxxx
I hope you are okay! I’m sending you a big hug. I hope your dad is in your life now. You shouldn’t be reading this stuff. None of it is your fault!!
Go play your little threadjacking game with pedo "mommy" somewhere else, you inferior stain.
I'm not a parent yet but I always usually hear that having a child beings meaning to life. I just have one question to the unhappy parents: when you are out with your child, perhaps at a park or in a cafe, would anyone know that you were unhappy? What I means is, do you put on the smiles and the laughs for the sake of the child etc. even though you don't necessarily feel that way? The reason I ask is that when I look at parents with kids they all seem to be laughing, smiling and playing around. Some have even told me that life only begins once you have kids.
Same here. Wondering how people really feel. A couple that I know just had a baby. The dad is a go with the flow kind of guy and eventhough the baby was unplanned he welcomed it as he wants a family. The mom does too. Now when I see them the mom jokes and laughs while saying don't do it to me. They both say it's so much work and they are annoyed and sleepless. I do have to admit that the baby is adorable and made me more inclined to have a baby.
So you admit you're easily fooled. That's never a good trait for a parent to have, even though it seems to be the leading cause of parenthood.
Stupid women like you see a random baby and go "ooh god i NEEED one RIGHT NOWWWW." I dare you to just hang on for a few years and witness what comes after the "cute and helpless" stage. *Then* see if you're still so "inclined."
God, my species is overstuffed with idiots...
I am a mom of three, have a very good job.. and I feel this dad! Not one person would guess in a million years that I hate my children, I plaster their sweet faces on social media and talk about them and take them out everywhere, even have their friends for sleepovers and lie to other parents about how I truely feel. I never thought I would feel this way, I honestly even feel guilt for hating them.
But I have sacrificed soo much for them to a point where I don't even know who I am anymore. I sacrificed my body, my sleep, all my time, everything I have. Obviously I knew there'd be sacrifices, but I haven't done anything I enjoy doing in years.. but I don't even know if I like those things anymore. I think you see those parents being happy for their children, and to pretend just for awhile, that it's not that bad.. for me, I don't want to have to explain to other people why I'm not happy, or to be viewed as a bad mom because I don't love them like I should.. so as much as it's a struggle, it's easier to just smile and play it cool
This is what I was talking abt. Thank you for your honesty. Albeit I donate parents living through their kids vicariously as if they have no life. Like, you had your chance! Let them live their own lives. But I apologize how you feel. I’m not criticizing you or anything of the matter.
I dont fake it.
That’s horseshit...
Don’t be so gullible. Life begins once you become preggers. The parents feigned smiles are simply a cry for help or relief that their child isn’t crying or embarrassing them in public. That’s why there are belts parents! Or a slap on the **. Discipline=love. Do EVERYONE a favor. I love seeing an unruly child getting spanked. I praise those parents.
My entire life feels pointless ever since I had a kid. Maybe I will write about it in more detail here, sometime. That is all.
To all those who are struggling with parenting:
I wish I could take your kids for a weekend so that you (and your partner) can take a weekend off. I would do that a good few times a year so that you know regular relief is right around the corner. I would pick your kid up from school once a week along with my own child, just so you can run that last pesky errand. I would offer to car pool to your child's sports games, or recitals so that you can spend the evening just cooking for yourself for once. If you're sick, I would come over with chicken soup and hang out with your kids for a while so you can get much needed rest. If you're having trouble with your teenager, I would offer to have them stay with me for a couple of weeks, so you can both get some space to reevaluate it all!!
I am a parent who is extremely overwhelmed. I suffer from postpartum depression and almost admitted myself to hospital last weekend due to suicidal thoughts, and I have recently harmed myself. I would do this for you all if I had the option because I want to be the village that you are all missing, that I'm missing. I'm craving communal parenting, just like in Congo, where everyone chips in as a collective and makes parenting a bit more bearable.
I'm sorry you're all going though this. I'm right there with you. Please take care of yourselves. I know if your cups are full, you will feel a lot better about parenting. People can judge all they like, but know that millions of others can empathise, so perhaps you're not as evil as what society paints you out to be, you're just overwhelmed, burnt out, depressed and empty.
Self care is top priority everyone.
I don't know... sometimes I feel like I do hate my child. Like being stuck in a relationship that isn't good for you, and wasn't right for you. You know you should have left a long time ago, but you stayed and end up resenting and eventually hating that person.
The only difference is this is a relationship you can't break free from; can't divorce or walk away from, clean. You're forced to stay.
My child is in his late teens and will be leaving home soon. I think I'll need about a year of no contact to start liking him again, to deal with the stress and anxiety and depression I suffered being trapped in parenthood and to deal with the resentment I have toward him, my family and the resentment I have towards myself.
I too have been feeling like this a lot. i am sure i love him, but don’t like him very often. i blame his behaviour on myself, for not being more consistent sooner in life, but i just get so overwhelmed and i just have to walk away and ignore so much. I want to be a better parent, but i also just want him to go away.
Love this, thank you for spending the time to unload. Glad I’m not the only one who feels like this often. I too love my kids but I also realize that is only because they ARE here. If I chose not to have kids, that love would have never developed. I would have more freedom and none of the stresses associated with that decision.
Most of the friends that I have with children regret it. Everyone pretends that they are ok. But when you get them to speak.... Unfortunately I am one of those and I blame mainly my wife for that.
Stop passing the buck. Take responsibility. People who blame other's for their mistakes are pathetic. We're all here because we realise what terrible, terribe mistakes we made having kids. It ** but it makes it ten times worse when you pass blame.
Exactly. Too many people in here are blaming the other parent, or even pointing the ** at the kid(s). Unless you were **, YOU decided to have the ** that led to the child(ren). Own it. Then vent.
I'm dating a girl with a 5 year old, after seeing how hard her life is and how miserable she is having a child I am so glad I have never made that terrible life choice. I would recommend to anyone that is unsure if they should have children to date someone first who already has a young one your eyes will be opened to reality. Her place is always trashed, she's basically given up on stopping him from drawing on the walls so every part of the lower walls is an art show. Her once arranged dvd collection has become a pile of broken cases and scratched up movies. She rarely buys herself anything because "what's the point?" I visit her place and she only visits me when she is alone luckily she understands that he is not welcome in my house due to him breaking every. single. thing. he touches. It amazes me how no matter what the object is once its in his little hands its never the same again. Just knowing I have my own place to escape to after we have spent the day together always makes me happy. She becomes super angry about every couple of months (I've been told its more like jealousy) with me and her single friends for "having so much freedom", "no worries" and being able to do "anything I want, when I want"....um Hello??? I told her from the start I didn't ever want the responsibilities hence why I am kid-free. I know eventually this relationship will end once she wants to move in together but you couldn't pay me to live in that type of situation 24/7 the only time the girl even smiles is when the kid is at his dads house. S*** what kind of life is that? Which is to bad due to her and I being otherwise excellent together. So yeah, F*** that noise kids ** the life and happiness out of their parents. Condoms bro's, condoms.
How sad for her to be dating someone she obviously has no future with. What a waste of time.
That's the only thing you see as "sad" in that story? Save your condescension for someone who wants to play your game.
That's the only "sad" thing you perceive in this story? Save your condescension for someone who will play your little game.
Do other men find their wives not attractive anymore after having a baby?
It’s probably right up there with the number of women who find their partner unattractive after they’ve had a baby, lol! Parenting is not **!
Yeah. Pregnancy and ** DOES NOT MIX and shouldn’t be in the same sentence.
Yes, I am right there. Especially the staying up late. It's the only time that I can get to do something I enjoy and not be bombarded with everyone else's **.
Night time is my only time.
Thiiiissss... this is exactly what I have been trying to say
Don't have kids with the expectation they will make you happy. They make you f***ing miserable. Low expectations if you decide to take the plunge!