I deleted your last link to me...

I'm sorry. I know I said I would keep the email account open... your last link to me. But it was tearing my up. I kept checking my email to see if you were online... if you had emailed me... even though I knew that you wouldn't because 1) it was much too soon for you to get in contact with me and 2) you promised you wouldn't. But I felt like I couldn't really move on without deleting it. I know... I know you'll forgive me. I thought long and hard about it. I wanted to keep the email open in case one day... after I stop hating you, after I forget the pain of thinking about you f*** her, or after the loneliness that came whether you were beside me or away and refusing to take my calls dulls... maybe we could catch up. Maybe we could be in peace. But now I know that by keeping the email account whose name was inspired by your nickname for me, I was holding on to hope that I wanted to let go of a long time ago. I love you and always will, and I know will forgive me. Forgive me, love.

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