I think I'm a homewrecker

Kitty, I'm really sorry. I never wanted to be one of those girls and it kills me that I keep interacting with T. in a way I know you, as his girlfriend, wouldn't like. I doubt that you even know who I am, but I know a lot about you. I just wish I could say sorry in person. I haven't even kissed him but I know people who know me and him keep thinking that something is happening between us, so I'm clearly not very good at being just a good friend of his. I promise I'm trying to make myself fall out of love with him, because I'd never want to hurt another girl in such a bitchy way...

S. **

Jun 3, 2012

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  • Time to put your big girl ** on and do what you need to do. You need to tell him that you have to spend some time away from him so you can sort out your feelings. What you feel isn't friendship and you can't be around him right now because you don't want to get involved with a taken guy.

    You know where this is heading. You know that it's only a matter of time until your hormones get the better of you and you start messing around with another girl's man. You know you should walk away RIGHT NOW, but you won't. Why? Because deep down you want to cheat with this guy. It gives you the false idea that you're "better" than his girlfriend and that somehow he'll leave her for you and you'll have nothing but flowers and sunshine. This is called "action by inaction". Rather than nipping this in the bud now, you're telling yourself that you hope it'll go away on its own while really hoping deep down that you two will fall into a secret relationship.

    WRONG. Even if you do "win" the guy, you'll always wonder if there's another girl out there that he's flirting and carrying on with behind your back. And why not? It's how you came into his life, after all. Where there's one opening, there will be another. And another. No matter how good you try to tell yourself it is, you'll always have that doubt. Meanwhile you're getting a reputation for being "loose" because you steal taken guys. Your friend? Oh, he'll have a reputation: a reputation as a player. Guys always get good reps from this sort of thing while girls are seen as **.

    Besides, do what YOU would want the other girl to do for you. If you know that there's sexual/romantic tension, you'd want the girl to step away so those feelings could diffuse.

    You can't control what the guy does. Odds are he's fully aware and is encouraging this along. (After all, if something happens then he can always blame it on you, saying that you knew he was taken and pursued him anyway.) You CAN control what you do. It's OK to feel things for taken guys, but it is not OK to act on them and it's sure as ** not OK to act by inaction.

  • You're right . You can't stop being human. You have feeling you can't control. It's understandable. But you know its wrong.

    I think you know what you should do...

  • Go on... give me a clue.

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