Guy in my cubicle next to me...

The guy in the cubicle next to me caught me jerkin' it to Rosanne Arnold. That's not the worse part of it... he recorded it on his iPhone and DEMANDS that I suck him off or he will show the video to my manager. Normally I wouldn't care, but my manager is my MOTHER! What do I do?

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  • Wow Maria, you sound like a lady of experience and like it when you talk dirty to me.

  • Best thing to do is tell ur mom I know it is bad but she will know what a Horney guy thinks of because u were born but what she won't understand is da guy who wants u to blow him to keep quiet

  • What do you say you take that c*** in your mouth and finger his a****** at the same time and right before he c*** you stroke out that white s**** all over your man t***?

    If mommy wants some too then just rip off her skirt and finger f*** the s*** out of her v***** and her a******.

  • I'm sitting here with a candle up my ass and mayonaise all over my mouth thinking about what they guy is going to do to you. If this happens, can you please record it? I WILL PAY YOU! - no matter what the quality (I don't care if it's only phone quality)..Please, it would mean the world to me!

  • oh yeeeeeaaaaah buddy: you definitely need to suck that d***. your gonna f***** love suckin that d***. in fact, take the guy into your moms office and suck that d*** right in front of her. or else do it front of the whole f***** office. but whatever you do, you just gotta suck that f***** d***. and when your done suck that thing again. and again.

  • I will blow you!

    Text me: 908-878-2117.

  • How about you pull down your pants and let all the guys in your office a*** rape you? You are a sick disgusting a****** and my 10 year old kid just read this aloud to me!

    You disgusting piece of s***.

  • 10 years old!? That's waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old for me :)

  • ___
    // 7
    \ \
    \ \
    _\ \__
    ( \ )
    \___\___/Does the 10-Year old look like Rosanne?

  • Pedophiles. I am calling the cops.

  • Pedophiles?? How the h*** did this get to a 10 yo boy and what kind of parent would let their 10 yo child read s** stories?? Bad parent... I am calling the cops.

  • I think you should let him and Nick blow you instead. They give great head! Then maybe you can get your work done with a clear head after shooting your babies on their faces!

  • The only logical thing to do is kill yourself.

    You're welcome.

  • If he does a few of my tickets for me, I WILL not only suck it, but he can put it in my ass as well.... MTG baby!

  • Wait.....lemme guess.....the guy in the next cubicle is your DAD, right?

    I have no idea what kind of work you do, but you really have absolutely NO future as a fiction writer. I'm just sayin'.....

  • C'mon, Man, where's the love? That was one of my best stories. I was thinking it had the makings of a movie deal with maybe Brad Pitt playing me.

  • Or Oceans 14, where you're Matt Damon, and his mom (Cherry Jones) and dad (Super Dave Osborne) are back again.

  • Brilliant!

    Funny you should use the word Oceans. I am working on another story where I am on a ship as the captain's son, and a fukin pirate, that looks like Johnny Depp on a bad day, secretly films me sucking the first mate's c*** and says he'll show it to my father unless, arr, arr, I let him f*** my ass on the stern while he guzzles grog.

    I can picture the awesome cinematography now, the ship rocking on the waves while the pirate shags me, the salty sea water blowing in our faces like j***, the pirate shooting his wad while he shouts shiver me timbers! at the top of his lungs.

    Maybe Sean Connery could play the captain? What do you think?

  • Grad his c***...cut it off with a knife...that's what I would do.

  • Make sure you swallow. Guys love that s***.

    - Maria

  • Wow Maria, you sound like a lady of experience I like it when you talk dirty.

  • It's no biggy, the situation not his c***. Just blow the guy. Better yet, see if he'll do a 69 so you can bust your nut too. And, who knows, you guys might become an item.

  • I think your best bet is just to suck him off, just make sure he ain't recording that..

  • Dude, if you can beat off over Roseanne Arnold, that guy's d*** will look like Miss Universe by comparison. By sucking his slong, you'll be trading up.

  • Just suck his d***. You are lucky he's allowing you the privilege, and you will love it.

  • I like this idea. and yes you would be lucky for the privilege of pleasuring a man. (Oh and swallow) Maria is right about that.

  • If your looking to handle this legally your screwed,but I can think of one way man, stall him till its been a while till you cant stall no more,then tell your mom, and then let him show her the video, and show her the date on his phone, then she will realize that its blackmail,good luck and tell me how it goes.

  • P.S my name is THE HELPER

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