I'm fat and I hate myself for it. I feel like other people find me disgusting so I never make eye contact with people. I feel bad when I think a guy is cute because he would probably be disgusted to know that someone like me was looking at him. I don't even like to leave my house because other people shouldn't have to look at me. I've tried so hard and got so desperate to change and loose weight that I've developed an eating disorder. I don't want to tell anyone because they will wonder how someone so fat can claim to have an eating problem. I feel like I will never be happy and no one will ever want to be around me unless I look good and weigh less.
I used to be fairly confident despite my weight but people slowly wore me with rude comments and nasty looks. They didn't stop until I saw how completely unacceptable it was for me to look this way.
So now I hate myself and it feels like I will always hate myself even though I am losing the weight.