I really love my friends but I always

You need to talk to them, being around people that care will help you.

Let them in. Let them know.

I don't necessarily push my friends away..but I don't talk to them about anything either. And when I feel I really need someone, it's like no one is there for me. Really all I have to do is seek them out, but I hate to. But it needs to be done.

Talk to them.

i do the same thing.
but now myfriends think that im the odd one out, not to mention one of the ones that used to say i love you, says i hate you.
You really just need to tell them. they will understand.
Tell them before you become me.