I think i'm a nothing. An ugly disgusting loser. My brother and sister are much better than me at EVERYTHING. I am 15. My brother is 17. And my sister is 19. I have secret thoughts of murdering my sister. I want to f****** cut her head off ALL THE TIME!!! My brother gets all the girls. While i cant get one. I have longish brown curly hair and almost a full beard at my age. I walk around school getting nothing but ews and gross and all of that stuff. I've gotten insulted my entire life by my family and friends even my own parents. I've tried taking my life many times but something always comes in the way and stops me. I'm on serious depression medication but i feel that its not enough.