I've been looking forward so much to seeing you again. I wanted to run up to you and pick you up in a warm embrace. That didn't happen. I was really excited when you called me the other day, I thought you missed me as well. Maybe you did, who knows. Anyways, I feel as if we're not the same. I don't know if you've felt it too, but I had feelings for you. Strong feelings. I love you. Actually, I still do. But ever since coming back, I feel as if you've moved on. I thought you cared for you me, like I cared for you; but I guess not. Before, you would initiate conversation with me whenever you had the chance. Now, our contact is almost nonexistent. I don't know how to feel. Part of me wants forget everything and never see you again, but deep down I know I can't because I still love you. The other part wants to communicate. I want to take you somewhere, do something. I want to run my fingers through your hair. I want to rub your shoulders. I want to kiss your forehead. I don't know what to do. I wish, more than anything, to know what you're thinking. I want to know what you think of me -- how you feel. Do you feel the same? Do you love me? Are you also conflicted?
When we met today, I half-expected you to comfort me like you've done in the past. I should have known better. You're now one of them. I didn't know for sure if you would ever join them; I thought you were different. Maybe you still are. I thought I meant something to you. Now that I'm older am I different in your eyes? Because you're still the same to me. I love you now as much as I ever did. I still want to hold you in my arms and caress you...
I know I'm damaged goods and that I'm nowhere near perfect, but you won't find anyone who loves you or cares for you as much as I do. They say that if you love someone, you'll let them go, and if they come back, it means they love you back. But if I let you go, you may not come back because you don't know that I love you. You probably think that I just see you as a friend but you're much more than that. I could forsake the world for you and I'm prepared to do just that.