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The main reason I am still angry he
The main reason I am still angry he broke up with me after being together for a year and a half is not because i miss him or because I love him....but because I feel he took away some of my power when he did that. I should have been the one to break up with him. I should have been the one in control.
I'm sorry for your loss. You feel like you "lost" the game. But when relationships don't work out, everybody loses in some way or another. When we invest in a relationship, it hurts even if you're the one doing the breaking up. So maybe comfort yourself that there are no real winners in this. If you want control, however, take control right now, and say, "I choose to let this go and not let it bother me. I choose to move on."
There is no such thing as "control" especially ina relationship.
You only have control over yourself...
Me me me. All about me. I'm sure it hurt for him to decide to leave. To begrudge him about getting to the point means you really secretly felt the same. This is like an episode of Seinfeld. Childish.
Move on and try again.