Sexually Frustrated

I'm gay and have been with my partner for 12 years now.. He is my best friend and such a wonderful person and treats me great.. The problem is that we haven't had s** with each other in years.. The s** was ok for the first few years, then we got to the point where we played around with others together. That was a lot of fun. I've cheated on him a few times in the past and know its wrong but I'm so damn h**** all the time. I'm simply just not attracted to him anymore.. He has aged really quickly and doesn't seem to care.. We are the same age but I look 15 years younger.. I keep telling myself that he is who I should grow old with, but the thought of leaving has crossed my mind... I don't think I could live with myself if I hurt him. His family is a piece if s*** and I'm all he really has.. I've hinted around that I'm not happy sexually, but its so uncomfortable to discuss.. I really wish he would just let me f*** around on the side.. I would be ok with that.. Even if he is not into me anymore, is be fine with him playing around on the side. Everything else is great with the exception of the s**. Does anyone have any advice?

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  • He sounds like he's depressed. You say he's not taking care of himself and not interested in s**..those are signs of depression. Is he drinking or taking drugs? Is he cheating? Stop hinting and have that conversation. It's important for the benefit of your relationship. Maybe seek couples counseling, maybe your partner would feel safer in a different environment.

  • OMG! I have the same exact situation! Everyone including friends say you should move on and think of you. But your compassion for others is very strong. There is no answer! Whatever you choose someone will be hurt.
    Sadly, I haven't moved out either.

  • Get a d****. Better yet, get a male dog and let it scratch your itch for you.

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