We were friends for years, and

We were friends for years, and eventually I really, really loved her. I thought she returned the feelings, but she had to move out of town for 3 months. The very day she came back, when I was going to tell her how I felt (and she undboutedly already knew), she tells me she's going to sleep with some a******* that just wanted into her pants; then flaunts it in my face every time she sees me. Then she starts ignoring me for weeks and blowing me off each and every time we made plans. Eventually I got deeply depressed and told her to f*** off and never talk to me again because she was so cruel to me.

When I came out of the depression days later, I tried and tried to apologize and explain what was going through my head, hwo badly my mind and emmotions were shocked. She didn't care, she said "you should have been happy that I was happy even if your feelings were hurt. That just shows that you were never really my friend".

I gave EVERYTHING to her, I LOVED her, I was her best friend above all for years, I did everything I could to help her through tough times. And she just throws me away like a piece of garbage, not even slightly bothered by the idea of never seeing me again, not bothered in the least by how much pain she put me through.

Now I feel disgusted with myself because she's a clruel, backstabbing, lying, and even thieving b**** (stole my favorite book). Yet no matter how much I hate her, deep down I can't stop loving her, and it makes me hate myself for still caring so much about somebody so horrible. I still dream about her forgiving me, I still spontaneously and involuntarily replace other women in my romantic/sexual fantasies with her (which ruines the mood, bring back horrible emotions and whatnot).

I want to hate her so much, she's been so cruel and apathetic, she wouldn't care if I were alive or dead, she has no appreciation for me giving her the deepest parts of myself. But I spent months longing for her, happily looking forward to that day when we could be together, when I could make her happy in every way, and she tears it all down and spits in my face. I try and try to hate her, and deep down as seen in my dreams, I still want her forgiveness, friendship, love.

I hate myself for being so pathetic. I hate myself for still caring so much about that b****. Why can't I actually hater her?

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  • This is too loneg, therefor, I did not read it!

  • That's a very tough situation you're in--a tough emotional situation. She's the equivalent of doing cocaine. You love it, you hate it. You want to get out of the mess, but you're inexplicably drawn to the poison, and you hate yourself for being so weak.

    My advice is this: forgive yourself. Accept that you have strong feelings of love for her even now, as ashamed as you are of this fact. Then, no matter how hard it seems, as an act of the will, consciously forgive her. Yes! Say it aloud if you have to. "I forgive _____." The pain will still be there, but over time, it'll lessen. Forgive yourself, forgive her, and move on with your life.

    At some point, you might even be able to think about her with fondness and not feel any tinge of regret or bitterness, but just a sense of calmness. I've been there. Forgiveness will turn your life around, because right now, your love-hate feelings will wreak havoc on your personal life.

  • Had the same thing happen to me. 1)she's a w**** and psycho, and a user. If she cared, she would've not talked to you. B****** know that guys can't be friends, but they like to use....
    2)Go out and f*** someone else IMMEDIATLY. Even a h***** if you have to. You must do this to move one.
    3)It is like tryting to quit using drugs, take it one day at a time, stay away from her at all costs, and tell her to f#ck off is she calls you.
    You have now made it through the worst pain immaginable if you overcome this. The good part is, you'll never have to worry about it ever happening again. You'll know better next time...

  • you can know and talk to a womon, but friends's never. It's not natural. Know them from a distance or get in bed with tham and be on your way

  • Friends with a women HMMMMMMMMMM
    Is there such a thing, they are not at all trustworthy, always backstabbing , is this what friends do to friends.

  • It seems that you put forth a lot of effort into something that was not a sure thing. I'm not sure that she ever wanted to be with you, and you cannot curse someone because they happen to not be attracted to you. She thought you were friends and so she was probably not on the same page when you expressed that she hurt you by not wanting to be with you. She did not s**** you, bro; you created a false reality in your head and you put the truth to the side.

    We can't have everything or everyone we want. With women, I'm learning that if you become a confidant for many years like you describe, you are trapped in a friend zone that you cannot escape, ever. You usually know within the first few weeks of knowing a woman if there's chemistry there. You should've either made your move a long time ago, or just kept on living your life with no expectations.

    Don't get fixated on one girl-there's far too many of them out there. She sounds like a ho anyways.

  • Hey , was in actly the same situation, with a GAL I worked with. Great friends and more so I thought. She went away on courser and came back 5 weeks later a different individual. She was so two faced and deceitfull that it was incredible, She ended up costing me my job. Do not trust a female.

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