"This is just between us."
I have been crushing on this guy I met in college. He is so funny and an all around great person. He kissed me about two weeks ago and one thing led to another and we were fooling around in my bedroom. I got uncomfortable because my roommates were just outside the room and so I put a stop to what we were about to do. That following weekend I found out he was in a long distant relationship. which basically meant I was the other girl. I was so mad at him that I couldn't even see straight. I texted him an angry message about what an ass he was and how wrong it was for him not to tell me he had a girlfriend. His reply was short and rude. he said "like you really cared if I had a girlfriend or not."
I knew with that message that it was time for me to avoid him, at all cost. Although, as the days went by fate had it's way and our paths crossed again. He apologized and said that he felt awful and me being the naive dumbass I am, I believed him. On Halloween night he and couple of his friends came over and he was extremely flirtatious. I mean smacking my ass and winking constantly. He than began to vent to me about how his girlfriend broke up with him and how he was so tired of her bullshit. With that being said, couple hours later we were walking over to his place because no one was home and I knew that this time I wouldn't be able to say no.
Clothes began to fly off and his hands were all over me. Before I knew it we were having crazy, hot s** and he made me feel on top of the world. He is definitely the best partner I have ever had. When it was all over, I gather my clothes off the floor and my mind began to race. what had I just done? what if they get back together tomorrow? Suddenly, I realized I had picked up a lot more than my clothes that night. I had picked up even more feelings for him.
Now I sit here on confession post with the realization that I haven't heard from him in over a week and that this last weekend his girlfriend came up to campus to visit. He was never single but he was a cheater. The worst part is I still like him and I fantasize about having s** with him again. So my question here is does this make me a s*** or just a complete and total idiot?